The edge…

It’s my lawyer causing the panic 😮 … she’s awful…

Ok so she messages me and tells me if I don’t do what she says that’s how a client/attorney relationship tanks.

I have done every single thing she tells me too and stay quiet while doing hoping she will fight for me… she never does…

She told me to send back paperwork – I told her I did that yesterday…

She tells me get a full time job… I am trying, but I have an obstacle … I need to be able to get my daughter to and from school…

I have called taxis and ubers and Lyft… none will take a minor, stating that it’s a liability. I get it…

I’ve been asking around to see if anyone can help me… she is 13… I don’t have family and all my friends have their own jobs.

I told her I work all week at a school and just got that new job which is Saturday and Sunday from 8-5… I will have no days off unless from the school…

To which she initially told me “better than nothing”

She tells me, I need to find full time to pay my lawyer … I told her … I asked you how much I need to pay you even though he is court ordered, and then you told me he does actually pay you but not your fees …

So if he is court ordered – and paying, I am still required to pay? – this is fishy… I don’t mind paying but be honest and don’t fuck with good people

Or at least explain – she goes quiet and doesn’t answer

Then she says “he could take her away from me without a full time job”

That sends me into complete panic – you don’t even know!!! I am trying my hardest!!!

Then dealing with child support services – they won’t speak to me about my case because I have legal counsel …

She told me she wrote them a letter giving them authorization to speak to me… but I called them yesterday and they had been trying to get a hold of her.

She told me not to hold hope of winning my case … is what is

So I said … do you not care at all about your clients and wanting to actually help them?

This was a 21 year abusive marriage … he uses the courts to continue to make sure I can’t stand up

She doesn’t help matters by making me panic.

Then she said “I do believe you have mental issues from your divorce and where it has placed you, but if you don’t believe or trust me I will have myself removed from your case”

She forces me to be quiet. I feel at her mercy and like she’s working for him. I am not allowed to speak or stand up to her either.

I feel full panic right now… everything she told me to do I have already done and continue to try to do…

I am exhausted – I do not like courts and do not like lawyers

I thought she was supposed to help me or prove my case

It’s up to me and only me…

My police officer has to wait until tmrw – they have something going on at work. So tmrw is fine I told him.

In the meantime… I’m still going to get those letters – from my police, from all my bosses – anyone who knows me.

And then I have other things I am working on as well to present to the court.

This is panic’ing and exhausting … please don’t take my child 😭 I won’t be able to make it through that. I don’t think I am strong enough for that hit.

I can take anything else – but that one would send me over the edge.