Building myself …

So I officially got offered the job today!! ❤️ I’m sooo excited and thrilled!!! I now have 2 jobs ❤️❤️❤️ … but just wait – cause I still plan on being a force! I am not done yet. Yay!!!

Everything I am doing – I have a plan… all of it is just a jumping board … I’m sooo excited!! I work at a school during the week, and at a funeral home on the weekends lol … I am versatile!!

I am educated because I grew up wealthy … but I never went to college – instead I got married and had kids right away. I married wrong so I paid a heavy price on that one. But I am left blessed by amazing kids who are my world ❤️

So anyway, all I have is a high school diploma – but just wait… I am not done… I am building currently. I’m gonna take all of that and mesh together for greatness – just watch … I go slow but I have a plan. Is just my jumping off point… again building for greatness ❤️ (at my age lol) … I am exhausted but just watch…

I do still believe things happen for a reason… I lost my dad so we could learn my mother had Alzheimer’s, I lost my other family members to learn how to let go and heal from that, and all that pain has allowed me not to care about the abusive ex – yes he still scares me massively … when I think of him my heart pounds, I can’t breathe, I feel panic… but I no longer feel as though I care about what he will try to do or what he does… whatever – bring your worst. Don’t really give a shit. So he scares me still yes, because he is always brutal – but I don’t care so that’s helpful. Kinda 2 opposite sides – still scared but don’t care – kinda weird but whatever works … I think all my loss and devastation kinda helped me not care what he’s going to do – and without protection from courts or anyone else … I just don’t care. Let the chips fall. I’ve already gotten out so I am no longer being hurt or abused. I have already suffered at his mercy for so long – and I have survived and am surviving the worst.

To leave him, has allowed me to be free… to find me.

And the cancer… well that was hard to fight while I was losing everyone and going through this divorce… but even that…

The cancer literally brought my life to a halt. I fought that at first, I was a mom… I can’t just stop everything. I would always think “I don’t have time for this, I have stuff to do” …

Cancer does not care – so I had to let it halt my life. You have no idea what that’s like unless you have been through it. That was terrifying… and I also found it annoying 🤨 … Constantly at the hospital – I would be annoyed with that and having to see thousands of doctors … but I had no choice if I wanted to be ok – and I had people to live for.

So cancer taught me to relax for a minute – take things as they come. Don’t forget life itself because you too busy trying to do everything. I was always handling everything…

So I think I had to go through these horrific 3 years to grow as a person… I think I had lessons to learn and I’m a slow learner with that crap lol… life was going to beat those lessons into me until I learned. Ok ok I got it

So I walk away with a stronger strength then ever before – I beat cancer, I left abuse, I suffered massive losses and traumatic events all at the same time… I survived …

Immediately after my last cancer surgery – they said “recover, don’t do anything” … I couldn’t … not because I didn’t want to – I did want to recover like they said… but I didn’t have that luxury…

So I immediately – got my school job, found my place in the country… and here I am now…

Just got my second job.

I still have a long way to go… but lately everything good is happening. I pray it stays that way.

But I do think I am stronger than I ever have been before – I am still scared of some stuff that will be coming up… but whatever … I’m scared but I’m also confident I can be ok.

I am so excited I got the job… I wasn’t sure I would… I had been confident before with jobs and ya know – it’s hard.

I was still applying to all kinds of other jobs … even though interview went well and all that… just for back up and to find whatever I could.

I didn’t get my hopes up, I wanted it but I didn’t focus on that cause just didn’t know.

So I was really excited to hear they wanted me!! She kept saying how good I interview … huh, I was not aware of this to be honest … she said that both in the interview and then again today when offering me the job…

I’ve been through a handful of interviews before … my first job fell in my lap because someone knew me and I was perfect for that job… the next one was an open call interview – had no problem getting that either but so did everyone else lol… then I had cancer for a little over a year… so I had to stop everything. No work no nothing…

Before I got the school – I went on an interview for some job I didn’t get … but that wasn’t right for me…

With the school job… I wanted that one bad … so I knew if I wanted it – I had to pull strings… I went right to my police… I knew they would write amazing letters of recommendation for me and they did – they actually blew ME away with them ❤️ (I love my police ❤️)

I had a few other people write for me also… I had a total of 6 letters I pulled … with people with respect or high rank… THAT caught the schools attention to me… then I interviewed – I studied the school and did a lot of homework before that interview… went in there confident and got it… love this school job and love being with those kids ❤️❤️❤️

I really wanted this one too – the funeral home. I just kind of feel like I want to help people who feel that massive loss – I can help them. I will very easily be able to connect to their feelings, emotions and loss.

With this one – I didn’t use any letters, I started by writing to the funeral home and telling them I was a single mother looking for a weekend job, I believed I would be a great asset to them because of the empathy I have and the losses I have experienced (etc etc)

Well I must have said something right because they immediately asked for my resume … and then the second I sent it – they were calling me for the interview 😮 it was fast! Although perhaps there are not floods of people trying for funeral home jobs lol… takes a special set right? It’s not typically the norm I don’t think? But who knows. I will learn

I felt confident and good with this interview … and she keeps saying how good I interview… I keep trying to think what did I do so greatly to have impressed her so much? Well I was totally prepared even with the extra resumes for her and I was comfortable and not overly desperate – I want the job but ya know when it’s right – it will happen, so I wasn’t overly like please hire me lol … maybe once or twice lol – kidding I didn’t do that – but I did voice why I wanted this job and why I think I would be an asset.

So anyway yay!!! I am thrilled ❤️

So right now, I have to do a background check 🤨 … I hate those… why do I hate them? Because I have lived all over the United States 🤨 … so they have to get responses from everywhere on my maiden name and married name 🤨… that’s gonna take forever – it always does!!!

Even when I was with the police – it took forever to get for them. 🤨 I remember my police joking with me about how long was taking – they were like – we still don’t have those back yet – probably longest background check ever 🤨 (tell me that’s not annoying) can’t they just keep it all on file to pull real quick?? Does it have to be long every single time???

Ughhhh don’t you people have technology – isn’t that supposed to be fast???!!! Lol

Well anyway – eventually I will start my newest job and have 2 jobs ❤️ I’m building ❤️ yay!!

Gnite 😘✌️