Need a vacation from learning!

One thing I forgot to mention…

Maybe last year, my brother took a DNA test and we suddenly found close family members we had no idea even existed!!

Some have become a part of my life and we have clicked instantly…

Anyway… my grandmother died in June of 2019… it was hard and traumatic. I hate loss

Well last night I got a text from a close family member …

I have not responded yet because I don’t know what to think of it…

He said… I have someone who wants to talk to you and is closely related to your grandmother, are you willing to speak to them.

Whew!! Ok …

Let’s see what else I can fill my plate up with lol

Well, I don’t know how to respond – I am curious, but cautious and that is still a fresh wound… I miss my grandmother.

So I don’t know what to say to that right now?? Ugh 🤨 people!!! Stop coming at me!!! Lol

I try to sort my shit out in peace – I think life is trying to shake me to learn something?

I am resisting but it’s getting exhausting so maybe I should just… open Pandora’s box?

I need to change right? So I have to face fears. But the terror in that scares me.

That could be holding me back, so figuring out how I want to handle this – I’m going to have to brace for this one.

Fear holds me back for sure… because of the trauma … so ok suck it up… and face it.

I am open to trying – so I’m gonna try. 🤨…

I think to myself “ok do it!!” And then the other side of me is like “wait that could hurt and be bad – don’t do it”

Dammit!!

I won’t know unless I try and it can’t hurt to hear them out and see who they are? I don’t think can hurt right?

I haven’t had a lot of protection in different areas – so I am nervous with this.

But whatever. Life is going to keep shaking me until I learn whatever it is – it’s trying to get me to learn. Bleh!!!

I need a vacation from learning!!!