How the day went …

So much went on today. I got to work late again! Woo hoo!! Yay!! I love when that happens! I get more hours and get to be with kids – whom I just adore!!!!!!! I really love these kids!!! ❤️

So let’s see… I was not going to cover the shift? I didn’t think they needed me, yesterday they said they didn’t need me but today they did, was a lot going on – so yes please!! I took it… as much as I can when I can. (I have to pay the bills, ya know) I enjoy it anyway, so bonus all around!!

Our server was down today – Oh my god! Can you say frustrating!! Oh wow!! That was fun – everyone freaking out lol

It is kinda funny how dependent people are on technology lol… how did we ever live before that?? Lol

And the kids today… we were on break and talking about phones and I was telling them – back when I was a teenager – we had one land line … no cell phones, no computers, nada – and when you called my house to talk to me, you had to go through my parents first, and if you were a boy – nope not allowed 😄😄 … that is a mortifying thought for today’s kids lol – it was just funny to see their faces with how it used to be… oh how times have changed!! These people even have watches connected to internet … I had Atari and Nintendo woo hoo! … I still have the original 16 bit Sega Genesis, games and all lol

Then, I had to deal with my own cell phone, because they are charging me for some service I don’t even have… so they are correcting it thankfully! Cause yeah I am not paying for that!! You have to watch these people like a hawk!

After that, well I have told you that I dropped off the face of the earth with everyone. I just went silent. I do speak to family… because they will have a welfare check done if I don’t 🤨… I know they love me and wanna make sure I am ok… I am. It’s just been a lot, and I just want peace for a minute that’s all.

Well, there are a handful of people that I love dearly who are not family. They are “LIKE” family – my actual family is on the East Coast, 3000 miles away… so these others are family that I made out here, myself, on the west coast. I am far from my blood family. I only have the family of friends that I have created, out here.

I have a girlfriend (much older than me) I am very close to for over 20 years and she is dear to me, like a older sister, and her whole family… she has a brother that when I was going through really excruciating hard times – he helped me by letting me come help organize things for him and help him clean house. He paid me for that. I needed help and he did too – so it worked. That was right after I left.

He had a girlfriend at the time who had stage 4 cancer… she needed help too. I did anything I could… I would go clean her house for her and take her to chemo appts and sit with her… she paid me too. Not a lot, but she knew my situation. She died this past February 2019.

Well I am now living more than an hour from him. So I don’t get to visit alot. But I check on him from time to time to make sure he is doing ok and I know since losing her, he is very lonely. So I call him from time to time, to make sure he is doing ok.

And he is kind to me too… there is only a friend/family type relationship… so nothing romantic or anything… although I can be blind to that sometimes ??? …Alot – but I really think he just needs a friend and like I said he’s been kind to me too, when I needed it.

He keeps checking in to make sure I am ok… I don’t mind it when he does it – I enjoy the convos and we laugh a lot and tell stories.

He texted me tonight… he’s always so polite and texts me first… I like that. He makes sure I am not busy. That is very appreciated.

I called him back when I got home and we chatted. It was nice.

I have been really lonely – and it’s gets dark by 4:30/5pm… and I still want my peace and I’m too young to be going to bed THAT early!!! Lol… and I am not ready to come back yet… but I have been lonely (my doing)

And… well… I am still kinda recovering from the abuse I’ve been through… and I don’t trust blah blah blah…

I am very pretty and I look a lot younger than what I actually am… so I get hit on all the time… I can’t go anywhere without being hit on… the only time I am not hit on – is when I am at school ❤️ I love being at school!

I try to avoid these things – I am not ready. It’s almost like the more I try to avoid something the more it comes at me!! So yeah… I couldn’t take everything that had happened and then everyone coming at me… so like I told you – I went silent and I’m not ready to come back yet and I am definitely leery of men. I just need time. (If they would stop hitting on me then I would be ok… I have had stalkers and all of it) So now I just avoid and keep to myself… as much as humanly possible.

In stores, or places – I try to hurry so no one can catch me… but they still do… always. Tonight, as a matter of fact, I had to stop at the grocery store … and I had made it through the entire store without being hit on… while I was leaving some young guy says to me “where did you get that”

Well it caught my attention because I thought he was sincerely asking … so it made me turn around and say “What?” …

To which he replied “…that good looking” 🤨 … it was a “line” … yeah whatever … and I kept walking – nope, I want no part of that!!! Speak to me like a person – then you might have a chance. Use a line, and forget it – I’m not even giving the time of day.

I am not rude or mean ever!!! I am a people pleaser – I am always respectful friendly and kind … I am helpful to others and do whatever I can for anyone in need… it’s just when you are hit on all the time non-stop… it gets old really quick!!! Especially if you want no part of it. I am just trying to heal. And I would really like to be spoken to like a person – don’t give me lines … that makes me not trust immediately. Nope!! Good bye

Anyway… this guy friend of mine – he doesn’t threaten me in any way… I don’t feel guards up or anything – and we just have a friendship… so I am at ease – I think we are both just lonely for friends at this moment. So that was really nice to talk to him tonight. Again JUST friends! He’s kinda like a older brother? He calls me his little sister lol – I am adopted into their family for a long time. ❤️ Very non- threatening – and I feel like I can be at ease.

I did want to try to get into my heavy tonight – but nah… I’ve had a pretty good day today… so let’s not do that. Lol ✌️… I will, just not tonight. I like to keep a balance of good vs bad.

So wah lah… that was my day. Now I am home – it is NOT raining lol… and I am all cozy warm and happy. So I’m gonna end it with that!

Have a good night 💤🌙