Discoveries

So couple things tonight…

First off, is still pouring. Roads were not that bad YET. Not sure if will be same story tmrw morning, if keeps raining like this. There were some “puddle lakes” – if they get bigger I won’t be able to go through.

Ok… so – Monday should be fun lol … if it’s not fire – I get floods … nice

I am supposed to be doing something at this moment… but I don’t feel like doing it and I don’t want to. My deadline is December 20th – I have plenty of time – I just don’t want to deal with it this evening so I am not. I will deal tmrw when I start the week.

And then … ok well … first let me start by saying… I had cancer – and I went through a lot with that… I had both breasts removed and then they did a reconstruction for me… they look good – I like em…

It’s just I really don’t want to deal with doctors ~sigh~ ugh it’s like instant exhaustion!!

So I have this cough… ok well – it won’t go away… I did not want to take the time and money to go in. Oh c’mon just give me time from doctors!! I need a break!

Ok… what to do? So I googled … Oh my god! I can just see a doctor online?? Boom sold!!

Looking at it from a normal point of view – that does not sound kosher lol

But to my current point of view… I get to avoid an actual doctor… so yeah. I need a break from doctors. So whatever – I did not die

I was kind of shocked you could do that, but whatever – bonus for me. You learn something new every day.

I had a lot of trauma through the cancer – so I’m still kinda very emotional with it and what went on during all of it.

I am not ready to see another dr just yet. I dunno – but that’s my reasoning. I felt panic until I found the online thing – now I am all thrilled and at peace.

Probably not the best thing to have done, but whatever – for now is fine.

I am not a social media or internet person so new discovery for me.

I also think I am avoiding things that make me feel panic – like completely avoiding. Or trying to. So I will have to watch that. I don’t want to feel panic, so I don’t want to do the things that make me feel that. But I am noticing it. So that’s good – I see it – know it … but whatever … the panic is severe with certain things so it’s hard. I’ll get through it… even if I want to avoid – eventually I have to face these things so – I will … just building strength to do so.

Well anyway… kind of a boring night … I’m not even tired in the slightest.. and that constant rain… I have buckets so you hear constant drips lol

First day back to school tmrw!!! Woo hoo!! My “other” kids!! They are not going to be happy with rain! They won’t get to go outside at all.

I really love getting to see all of them … tmrw I have high school. I smile and laugh all day long because of these kids! I love this job!

Ok I am off to prepare for bed and try to make myself ignore the rain and fall asleep. Have a good night 💤