The Game of Life

Yay!! Today, my smile is from ear to ear!! Jack is back! Woo hoo!! Boy do I miss him when he’s gone. I just like having him there. He sent me photos and messages when he got back… awww he misses me too… his guards are dropping with me.

I don’t know … we are just getting closer and closer. Why am I scared?

I try to be a realist … you know… thinking, oh c’mon, you love the guy and you want him, take a chance on him… what could you lose… and you still have to embrace life… go for what you want right? Ok so I got that…

But then I get nervous because it’s about to slip into a relationship – ok am I ready for this ??… I feel like I have to take deep breaths when I think about that. Not in a bad way, just overwhelming. That attraction and everything else is just off the charts.

I really don’t know what exactly makes me nervous and scared – other than having gone through so much. Traumatized – ya know?

If I just “let go” on this… and just let it happen… I feel scared. Like he will have all my venerability. I have just been keeping to myself. I have been handling a lot and I keep to myself so I can get through it all ok.

Yes, I do tell Jack all my thoughts and stories. And he’s into me too… I’m just going to have to go slow. I can handle that slowly. I would rather move slow than get hurt.

On the mom side of things …

I had to run some errands today… I have a preteen girl who was supposed to run those errands with me… but she was excited to go see her girlfriend so I dropped her off. I have to pick her up a little bit later. She kept giggling and laughing on the phone.

I remember when I was like that… I remember getting home from school and immediately jumping on the phone with my girlfriends… this was when there ONLY WAS a landline … and just one line lol

My parents would say… didn’t you just see those people in school?

I’ve turned into the mom… my other 2 are boys so it was different – now I see the mirror image of myself lol … I see now lol

Well I got all the errands done. Now I just wait 🤨 lol… ok so at least someone has a life lol

Getting 2 preteen girls to leave each other – reminds me of when the kids were little and I would take them to the park. No one ever wanted to leave the park 🤨😄 … was like pulling teeth to get them to leave lol … thats how 2 preteen best friends are…

So the next phone call from her … watch … this is what I am expecting… “mum, can I spend the night? …and can you pack me a bag?”

Boys were planners – they would plan these things… the girl… she is last minute type

She is really good in school and is a really good girl. It’s just funny… I watch her grow up and I have to let go of her a little bit. Meh – I don’t like that so much … but I know I have to, I just wanna keep them forever

Life will try to teach you how to let go, and how to take in… I seem to be learning both of those – with my daughter growing up, and then Jack coming into my life.

Life moves so fast!

A movie that is on my favorites list is “Big Fish” … the reason I love that movie… is the storytelling of a lifetime… you have to pay attention. I love the stories told and the experiences… and then to see what comes together. What you can learn from life’s experiences

Oh yeah and lastly, I played the game of life with my kids last night… this one is a bit different than the original version in certain areas and the one we played has an electronic bank.

It was funny cause it’s so time stamped. You start by picking “college or career” … and then it FORCES you to get married… you must! lol … you can not hop over that space lol … well you could, but whatever, we play right

I haven’t played Life in a long time. I like life… little old school but classic. That’s a game you play once in a blue moon.

We are always on the hunt for really fun games… to play as a family… they have to be kid friendly … we have some really funny ones – but we like many choices – we are building quite the game collection – board games and card games

Anyway we were up late last night playing card and board games … I get them to step away from technology and be with me ❤️ all of them make time for me for that ❤️ I love that!

Alright well, that’s 2 for today. So I’ll be back tmrw

Gnite