They ask me my favorite cake flavor and I say chocolate 🫶 🍫
They got me rich rich chocolate cake with chocolate ganache frosting omg … heaven … if I describe that on my tongue 👅 … omg don’t let me think of it – it will sound dirty
And they bought me a HUGE water bottle lol – because I love those all nice and big – the only problem is what I can lift lol – but I do love it… perfect color and everything ❤️👏
Good gift pickers 👏👏
They very sweet. I hope I have prepared them for my absence 😮🙏 one week
Satan at 10am tmrw – then in vacation mode after maybe 11:30am
I worked Monday – it was calm… tried to get out early – but that didn’t happen.
None of us worked yesterday because was the 4th of July ❤️👏🫶🇺🇸❤️
Doby did really good… he had little bit of anxiety at first… but then did good because we were with him. Lol
At first he came out all scared – even in my front yard there so many people around… everyone outside lighting off fireworks BBQ’ing and having awesome time
So tons of people and fireworks lol… with the fireworks 💥 he would run up to fence and watch then run back cause he scared but he wanted to see 😄😄
He was scared at first but didn’t wanna miss anything and wanted to watch cause he doesn’t know fireworks 💥… he does now lol ❤️👏
We asked if he wanna go inside but he didn’t… like I said – he didn’t wanna miss anything and by the end, he acted like he protecting us lol 😄🫶❤️ … like it’s ok mum, I’ll protect you lol
He is STILL exhausted from last night 😄😄
Those were illegals – which were everywhere ❤️👏👏👏👏👏 sorry I just love that… I don’t do myself but I do love them popping off everywhere – on July 4th it’s everywhere ❤️🇺🇸❤️ if gonna allow fireworks… then know that this happens.
I was shocked when we moved here from Mass, cause they allow and so dry out here 😮 but whatever
Some fireworks are legal and some are not… if it shoots up in the air – the normal person is not supposed to have those lol – but they do
On July 4th I love that – sorry ❤️🫶❤️
Also illegals
And then here is the towns grand finale ❤️ …
Fireworks went off all night and Doby didn’t mind cause he had sooooo much stimulation 😄😄 by end of night – he paid no attention to the BOOMS 💥👏 he was too tired 😄😄
He is lazy old man today 😄😄👏 he has like no energy 😄😄😄👏👏👏❤️❤️❤️
He had the best time – that went fast
You blink and moments fly by
All my kids with me – we had burgers and some beef that I made yesterday … one wanted pizza 🙄 – but I know he is picky – so I had one… he doesn’t eat red meat (21)
We had wonderful holiday ❤️👏👏
I work today then I am off – 👏👏👏 yay!! Hopefully 🙏
Ugh hopefully 🙏 😳
Satan tmrw 😩
But week is awesome getting days off 👏 … not that I am getting to anything 😮 cause so much goes on, but whatever… it’s summer ❤️🫶❤️🇺🇸
I would say yup – my heart loves summer … my season, my holidays, my bday, my favorite days ❤️
Yay!!! Finally! and my favorite day and my actual day … fall on same day …so double amazing Friday ❤️
In winter, my molecules don’t move so well… I do not like coldness and going to work in dark and getting out in dark lol … I do not like being cold… I would rather be hot
Although it does feel like you being cooked lol – like oven heat – today was not AS bad as yesterdays 110
Today was only 103 😮… then we dip back down into the 80’s and 90’s for little while 👏 … it’s been a mild summer
And I believe we had rain in June – I dunno cause too many crazy things go on with weather this year – is weird
Got all the stuff in for end of month today, and ready for all the reports on Monday
Next week – I work Monday … I have Tuesday off for the best holiday ever 4th of July 🙌 🇺🇸… even though I am mad at things right now – still love the holiday ❤️
Then I work Wednesday and then I am on vacation – woot woot!!! Until the 13th
But Thursday I have to go to lawyers for stupid satan… but whatever
My week and vaca gonna be amazing – I fricken love summer ❤️❤️❤️ and it’s 105 right now… I am dripping sweat or “glistening” lol … and I still love summer ❤️ I am about to strip down cause I just not with much clothes right now lol … ahh just did much better 😅 👙 … this is sooooo much better than winter!!
Except … it does kinda feel like you are being cooked in an oven outside lol 😮 … omg my skin
Also… I do believe the heat cracked my windshield 😮😮 omg … today will be 109 or 110 🔥
Damn
But I do love summer so very much – very much appreciate this year ❤️
Omg so hot ❤️👏 I do like it hot … well right now because it’s not 110 yet 😳 … but my fricken electric bill – omg – can you just do triple digits when I am at work? lol ✌️
But yeah – my month ❤️
The boy came over – daughter is at a bday sleep over … lol I teased about missing night with the fam… but she said “I know I was like nooooo not Friday” when she learned what day lol
But ya know is a friend birthday 🥳 so yes go have experiences little one ❤️ go have fun lol
WTF!! I am soooooooooo disappointed in the United States Supreme Court what a fucking joke…
Ya know what, let me just say – what I do is provide specialized services for death… form of expression… so ya know anyone can say that!!
I will help you no matter who you are … rich, poor, black, white, brown, green, straight, lgbtq, republican, democrats …whatever are… I will help you – come to me and I will treat you like a human being.
F’in ridiculous
So disappointed and also with college admissions
Ugh I am just disgusted in this country right now
Making us go backwards and separating MORE!!
Disgusting – purely disgusting
You open that up and that’s gonna go all bad
And let me also add – they are deflecting … coming up on an election year – they trying to make you not see or notice stuff on the underhand – watch them!! Careful – they deflecting with things they know will cause fights – disgusting
But if they need me – I’ll still serve them – have some compassion for your fellow human being and want the best interest for your country!! What a joke! You suck Supreme Court!!
But ya know it doesn’t surprise me – welcome to America
We just went backwards 🤦♀️ what is wrong ?? Can we just be human beings???? Unbelievable
I’m just really disgusted with my country right now!!! 😡 I just can’t speak anymore cause I will keep saying the same things
So let’s see – I am always busy and only one person so it gets difficult.
I do love my staff and waiting for one to move to area and then I will expect ALOT more
So that’s comin
Then while at work – a girlfriend I haven’t seen for long time from Sacramento – called me… I didn’t recognize the number – but during work hours is either a funeral person, a cemetery, a family or a contractor lol
So anyway she called me about 3:30pm
And was in my town and wanted to go to dinner 🍽️
She was going over her moms house to help with few things and then we would meet
That gave me time to change and meet her and her daughter there – we went for pizza 🍕 but good pizza … not fast food pizza
We had soooooo much to catch up on and I am never in Sacramento anymore
And then someone I work with whom I went through Covid and craziness with – that I admire and respect… just told me tonight – they are retiring 😮😮😮
Well … it’s been an honor to work beside – will miss greatly and will have to totally keep in touch! ❤️🙏 I’ll check in and see how doing, maybe gossip little cause we know same people 😄 but it’s not normal gossip it’s just the happenings which are always crazy – they can relate lol ❤️
I’m really gonna miss them ☹️… but I’m also really happy for them cause I know they will enjoy the rest of their life …
So go enjoy life my death friend ❤️ I will miss you
Too dear to be forgotten ❤️🫶❤️ best wishes for them
Still alive … was sick there for a moment, but I am ok now and back to work
Speaking of work … I was opening a savings account for something… and they wanted to know what I did for work … but instead of letting me type it… they gave me a pinwheel of choices 😮
NONE of which fit me!! There was no “admin”… there was no “manager or office”, there was no “Other”
Instead I fit several categories if they gonna do that … I picked EMT/Fire/Police lol
My reasoning was that I am a responder so I classify lol ✌️ … I am your last responder 😉
But that was after sitting there for 20 minutes debating on which one I should pick lol … none of these was perfect and there was no funeral or cemetery field choice at all!
There was also social worker … yes I do that too
And I do accounting 🧾 … so there was a couple good choices I had to think about what best fit, since they did not offer anything within any of my actual fields lol 🤷♀️ wtf?
Is like filling out forms with a special character in your name – forget it – they never let you have it 🙄
And now I’m different lol 🤷♀️ … a new little quirk developed 😮
So randomly I was throwing up a lot – and that made me really weak … I had no fever … but was really sleepy – wasn’t Covid cause I take a ton of tests thinking maybe I did it wrong and have it? But never once positive
Wednesday Thursday and Friday I was not well – and Saturday I was iffy
Sunday and today I have been fine but taking slowly – I am behind due to being sick like that
And I’m afraid to really eat 😮 so now suddenly I don’t wanna eat anything that food makers make 😮 so … I’ve been eating REALLY simple things
So that’s new – little obsessive and nervous with food now 😮
Look what I saw yesterday …
❤️
Have you noticed that deep deep blue sky?
Our temps are also on the rise – here comes the heat 😮😮
It’s not bad yet – and it’s been holding off well …
But here comes the triple digits this weekend 😮
Thursday through Sunday all triple digits 😮 …here we go lol
In winter – I would rather hibernate – I hate winter even with triple digits on the horizon 😮 but ask me again this weekend lol ✌️😘 maybe my answer be different at 105 lol
He is finally good to them, only bad to me now… but he buys them. So they don’t really know what to do
I get it. I guess
They said it isn’t right and I should rise up and fight it … meh that’s a large under taking – cause then I gonna fight satan, the courts and California lol
I don’t know that I am THAT strong lol – they think I am 🙄
And I just want to not have to lose my life over and over – I would like some peace.
So I will do what love and take in moments while can and Satan … well whatever
So whatever – I’m just merrily doing life ✌️😘
Been busy but I plan to be back tmrw cause it should be slower than a Monday!! 🙏
Oh yeah couple really quick things …
Tonight coming home from our walk … there was a skunk 🦨 in my yard 😮😮 … we turned the corner to go up to the door and it was coming our way and we both scared each other … I was in shock … Doby going nuts (he has never met a skunk before) 😮😳
And the skunk was running all over my front yard not knowing what to do 😮
Ahhhh that’s my circus and my monkeys 😳😄 that was fun – I almost had a heart attack right there!!
Luckily no one or no thing was sprayed – that was scary!! So there is a skunk around here
He is first I have seen 😮 was a baby or teen? Was small for a skunk
And then lastly – DOBY snores!! Be barks and growls in his sleep, and snores like a human man 😳🙄
When he has wildest dreams he does that lol … I would love to know what he dreaming about
I can make your pain easier ?? Is just the comfort – and then I also have a funniness ? Not on purpose
A good funniness – I have a spirit ? but yet comforting – I make you not worry and be able to smile or laugh through tears … it makes it just a little bit better … not so horrific and you are comforted and understand – cause in grief you are foggy at best… is ok 👍 I help you – I have compassion ❤️
I think we are the best – I have the most amazing team ❤️ so my confidence in my team and my knowledge are very comforting … and I handle with care – but I also walk in like I own it lol 😘
But pretty much… anyway … that’s my confidence song for work only
But I love my job for the comfort I can give – those things make HUGE difference!! HUGE!
I am secure with myself at work ❤️ because I love what I do and can do ❤️🫶❤️ I know the impact
Normally I am happier than that – but I am not because I am afraid of losing my life again – so …
I’m ultra sensitive currently 😮 I’m terrified to lose my life and everything again
So yeah little ultra sensitive currently – high emotions 💔
I’m so traumatized – but whatever – those are the correct personal theme songs
And my personal personality theme songs ? 🤔
Hmm 🤔
Well I stay away from the world – but I have a life spirit – but I just desire peace and moments – I want my life
Plus everyone is little bit over my head … I am not on same page as society ✌️ but whatever … I like it that way.
People even off work are drawn to me always – I give off a vibe or something 🤷♀️ and then add living and working in same area so close and then everyone knows who you are 😮
But I worry with that… because I worry he will take my life again … so if you ask me for a personality song right now??
So I am scared and I don’t believe in courts – he’s gonna try to crush me!!!! And probably will – and it’s allowed but I don’t understand at all ☹️💔
No one in that area has made me feel at ease or understand anything. Or fights for me
So… I don’t want to lose my life again – I don’t have that strength for moments like that again. And ya know the loss of my mom will be coming and things with me…
So…
I worry currently … I am sensitive and scared I’m gonna lose my life again 😭 he’s not gonna stop until I am crushed without him. He’s gonna make sure 😮💔
He is sadist 😭 💔
And I don’t trust anyone to protect me
Yes I have my village – but what are they gonna do? Yes I have their support and love always ❤️
But it’s my life I built so hard that I am afraid to lose 💔 he won’t stop – he’s going to always do this always 💔 😭
So I don’t know … slightly unstable with sensitivity and crying 😮
I wasn’t sure to stay at work because I cry so much this morning … but then “people” (how I leave ? ) and things I have to do… I never left 😞
Maybe tmrw
I might need that tmrw
Anyway… work does not distract my worry
I am used to …,I am scared of him 😭
Well whatever … on one hand I say be strong – but then I have heart so I cry. 🤷♀️☹️😭 I don’t want to lose my life and rebuild again and I’m so traumatized by everything so … I’m just scared
I trust nothing 💔😭
This is allowed 💔😭
Anyway – I just worry always … never do I not worry what he will do… so but that is ok to terrorize someone 💔 he is satan – when I call him that – he is
But whatever I just complain because there is never anything I can do 💔😭 and I’m tired
He will never stop 💔
Anyway … this went the other way 😮
So let’s just set aside for the evening 😞 I’m tired from crying anyway 💔
Learning Life 