… while staying strong
I’m getting coffee ❤️👏👏👏
I have coordinated this myself 👏 not DoorDash lol
Someone is bringing me coffee woo hoo!
I am in work mode lol … but I did just put my phone down to do something on computer and instead of typing what I was supposed to… I typed the word coffee lol 😮 🧟♀️ ☕️
Mmmmmm coffee ☕️ ❤️👏
😘😄✌️
How do I find how to watch a particular movie?
It’s not a regular movie – it’s a really old one … it’s called :
Naughty Marietta
It is not a naughty movie lol … it’s from 1935 … they just named it that to make my life difficult when asking for it 😐🙄
It’s a 1935 musical …
But where can I find that movie – preferably for free …cause you know – it’s 1935
Grrr!! I can not find it anywhere at this current moment and I’m not signing up for anything just to find they don’t have it
Why do I not have access to every movie ever made? Is this not the internet? Where is the data I want ? FAIL on providing me the world at my fingertips… I thought you could find anything you wish? No? Am I mistaken or just not very good at finding?
Not on YouTube for whole movie… not on apple
Ugh I know it’s not popular … but is this not the internet ? Aren’t you supposed to be able to find anything? Where would be a place to look for this?
I wish to stream it … not have disk … I want streaming of that.
Why is this difficult on the internet?
Ok so I asked my son… and TCM owns the rights and you can download an app to watch but need a cable provider … I don’t have that… who still watches cable? 😄😄 is that still a thing … now? With smart TV’s?
Well anyway 🤨 it won’t let me watch it – without that … pretty slimy
So that’s a no go…
Then he refer me to some other site – that I have to block my IP, log on a special app 🤨 this sounds shady!!
Fricken owning the rights and not letting me see 🤨 I would even rent or buy to stream 🙏 why they not do that for me? Other than DVD 📀 lol 🙄 … I don’t want DVD
Yes I want specific. Without a cable provider – that’s so dumb – why only cable providers? – I don’t want a cable provider lol … that is funny people still have that … in todays world of streaming or smart TV’s … who needs a cable provider?
Ugh that’s so dumb – I just want that movie 🎥
But I don’t want it bad enough to be conned into a cable provider – no thank you 👎
Well that sucks
I am disappointed with that
Anyway. A lot going on – but mostly good stuff – I will have some stuff maybe tmrw ?
I don’t have any songs right now because I don’t really want to have my mind think of life things and I am frustrated with looking for that movie!!
Here – here is a song …
🤨 I just want a simple movie that is ancient – who knew it was impossible on the internet – without cable or being shady 😮
Whatever 🙄😐
Ok I need bed – good night 😘💤🌙
Always learning right?
Today,.. I am just organizing and cleaning for fall 😝👎 fall just tells me …
“Winter is coming” 😳😳
School will start back up in 2 weeks 😮😩 ugh
Then gonna be traffic and back to parent traffic 😩 ughhhh … ugh – don’t make me think of that because I will keep groaning
BUT on the bright side – there will be some rain and then there’s your car wash … woo hoo!! No more pollen/dust car!! Lol
So this week at work – things have been piling up and we low staff and I need assistance with things ,.. and something happened 😮
My Irish red hair came out lol ✌️😘 😄
Listen – I am patient … highly… I can take a lot … but if you keep building with stupid shit – there will be a day of reckoning ✌️💋
Sorry but not sorry.
I could not hold back anymore 😮😮
Because I had a lot of drama things this week – Omg
I do not like drama things – however – if you keep being an asshole… then I am totally gonna just tell you!! Omg you gonna hear it!!!
Also – I do not trust so prove yourself … time will tell
But anyway – I unleashed my issues and what I thought … I just could not take anymore
So yeah … do not mistake my kindness for doormat – nope 👎 so let me correct your ass
Also… this is death… we front line and you need a balance from things you handle… must have compassion and integrity. Also “work”
So… is better now – we had it out …
But ya know time will tell – we see
I am with these people more than my own family so… hell yeah I better love where I am…. so guess what – I gonna tell you 💋✌️
I’m not giving my life for something I don’t love so… I want balance and therefor – quit the shit – are we gonna love the job or not?
Are we gonna rule this town – or you gonna have tons of issues? Your choice
Anyway – I am in thought… cause I don’t know what I want 😮
I love having a strong team … notice I say the word TEAM … and I’m not gonna love, if it’s gonna suck
I do because I love ❤️… I have a gift… I’ve always had it … I can ease and relax someone instantly with my voice and words and care. People instantly trust and relax with me always!!! Even when I am not at work.
Anyway I am also very familiar with death and loss… also heart bleeding from inside – so I can very easily feel the pain people are in. I love to make sure people are ok and help them feel comforted in this crazy world – even if only for a moment while experiencing life’s most raw heartbreaking moments
And then – also in this field … I can be myself because they are all quirky and I fit sooo well 😄❤️
We are all different but mesh well ❤️
I never feel like a misfit – but I love that song ❤️
Anyway … my peeps ❤️
Plus I’m known for compassion so I also like that – come to me … I will do what can to help
A doctor was taking too long to do something – we are talking a very long time and no one would help me … was months we waiting … so F that… I packed a bag of chips and really crunchy annoying foods and drink … went to the doctors office and sat my ass in their lobby until they do this
Yes so please do this or I come back daily
Makes me feel like this:
Lol … only it was not over money… something much more important
So … yeah …
I work in death – I’m a little spirited lol 😘
Sorry for repeat songs but those are perfect✌️❤️
Anyway… sigh … I love it – but ya know there is a corporation that can cause it to occasionally suck!! ✌️😘
They want work of 6 in one and nope 👎 is a burn out profession sometimes
And doesn’t pay front line workers very much considering what we are doing and how much of ourselves we pour into it.
Anyway,.. I’m also very umm… visible and attention drawing 😮 in the job … we are only place in town 😮
So most will end up knowing me … if they don’t already and then that also makes me visible with things in general …
I like low key… but this is not low key lol … I do have to draw your attention … both for families so they can see the care and compassion… and then for others that …by law …I need something from … not afraid of attention, but not the biggest fan, because I like the peace and quiet from crazy lol
So there is that.
I work hard for this and is important
But there is something I don’t trust – but we will see …
I said “I appreciated someone’s effort” … cause heat me roar
So it’s been a fun week 💋✌️
But they replied… “we will own it and all others will feel our presence” 😮😮😮
Now you are speaking my language 👏👏👏 😮
😮
Not for the attention or anything – cause I am not sure I like that… but I am very good at that – I care so…
🙏❤️
So anyway… is the moments in life … can be crazy but is those moments that make impressions and impacts
It’s funny cause for work – I’m down … but then personally wayyyyyyy more quiet – don’t want no problems … but when is for a purpose I’m ok with it … but it’s gonna infect my little quiet peaceful life
I am just thinking and I also don’t trust yet – but I did like that statement … so we will see … lol … feel our presence – I like that… so time will tell
I’ll see who you are
Also always learning who I am – my 2 worlds collide… there is crazy sometimes … and there is peace but then they collide 😮
I definitely have a life spirit
Anyway – I also don’t always trust the corporation and I don’t want to work for a place that isn’t good. And I have a life to live too. So … I just think a lot
I will see – I just know where I am powerful in spirit
But I also know my silence 😮 I step careful with spirit lol ✌️
Anyway… tmrw I think I am meeting one of my girls for a day of whatever we want ❤️ I have to think about what would be fun idea ?
Doby has learned how to speak to me lol … if I ask him if he wants something – if I name things off – when I get to what he wants … he licks his lips 👅
😄😄❤️👏👏
Today we are cleaning house deeply – in preparation for fall 😩 lol
I have to go for now – be back later
So one of my girlfriends 🙄😐 is single again … this one is crazy wild 😮
At 6am… she call me, but I was about to jump in shower 🚿… I let go to vc mail… not work – no one’s dying – I don’t want to be late lol ✌️
So then she texting me anyway, about some new guy she meet and things I do not want to know in general never mind in detail 😮 I do not want to hear anyone’s sexual life stories lol – I’m good 😮
I like those private – it makes me squirmy in BAD way – I do not need to know every detail. 😮 or want to – please don’t tell me
Ugh now I gotta hear that until she finds a new boyfriend
And then that is also a reason I do not date. Just reminds me guys dick around …so ya know? I’m good
She goes into massive detail 😐
So what do you say to someone who’s too over your head with that ?? Way too over my head and I don’t wanna know or have any images thank you
Totally don’t wanna know anything at this moment lol … is not my head space 😮
Not really now or ever – to me that’s private and between 2 people
I’m probably a prude 😮😮
But that is every phone call and every text and you do not know the level of details 😮😮
So how you politely say stop? Or as a friend is that ok? Not really cause someone is uncomfortable and stressed by ?
Plus I have to go to work – I don’t want to be listening to that before work
Is that rude ? I just can’t – is too much
Alright … so… I think I would like to change something – so I think I will aim to do that. I think it’s time for me to do that.
I don’t want to tell you what …until I see how goes
Let me just see first
😮😮
I am going to attempt something, it’s big for me and I don’t want to jinx 😮 … so I’m just gonna see first 😮
I will probably come to vent or for advice “loosely”
But I think I saw the sign 😮
Not about a person
Anyway…
Let’s leave it at that for now 😊 so I can figure out how I am proceeding ✌️
On another subject… tonight I found this YouTube show 👇
😮😮😮 a whole convent 😮😮😮
And wow!! 😮
It reminded me of:
Because of all the incredible work like that … that he and Suze make better ❤️ all while having their own worm farm business and composting and growing food … you should take a look – it’s quite interesting to see!!
You could totally do a convent lol … but I do imagine it filled with worm containers lol …in neat carefully planned sections 😄😄 ✌️❤️
It also reminded me of:
bonjourfrombrittany.wordpress.com
Because … he speaks so brilliantly about old traditions or beliefs, old ways… the way people once lived, their tales lol … wonderful historical record – will make you imagine the time period
It does remind me because of being France, even though this place is far away … but that architecture is beautiful and what a beautiful convent
They said was owned by aging nuns who could no longer care for it! But imagine it in its day 😮 I can only imagine the stories or things ❤️👏
Well anyway – I like that YouTube video show ❤️👏
I do slightly cringe when tearing up things with history like that…. Obviously some changes needed … but I do like as close to original as possible
I also watched this 😮: you HAVE to see this 😮
I love the story and the whole thing 😮 that is sooo cool and genius but… I was wondering one thing…
What happens when rains in winter? 😮 would flood?? Right? and what about bugs? Bees 🐝 mosquitoes 🦟- snakes 🐍 , animals? What would downsides be ?
But the whole thing is brilliant since long summers and heat – how genius he was and I love the architecture influence and his knowledge ❤️
And look what he build 😮 by self … by hand 😮
And he figured out how to make his land work for him 👏 brilliant for his time – that’s awesome ❤️
I got side tracked with that tonight – but also helped to take away my mind from over thinking the sign I saw 😮
Ok.. Good night – is now Wednesday 😮💤
How would you describe yourself to someone?
How would I describe myself? Lol … that sounds like an interview question
I would answer saying :
I am a hard working and driven individual who isn’t afraid to face a challenge lol
But personally, with same question… this is how I’d describe? :
I am bubbly and friendly … compassionate, caring and helpful.
Self proclaimed hilarious 😘✌️ … sometimes some stuff is for my own laughter or enjoyment ❤️
I am quirky… but aren’t we all? Mostly positive and enjoy life, as much as I can, in whatever moment I find that in 🫶
Sentimental… in touch with emotions and emotional maturity … outgoing with work… but also introverted oddly with own life 🤷♀️
Extremely protective of others
Stubborn if I believe in or about something… but I’ll always listen.
Ugh someone is currently trying to convince me of something I know is important … and I listen and I hear and I agree…
… but I am afraid … cause is something to do with my ownself. I don’t want, for few reasons…
So I will swiftly and unnoticeably change subject … then you forget and I’m free … and then I just do it again next time lol … I’m slippery there lol 😘 … am a sly one 😄😘
But sometimes if you plant the seed good enough – I will constantly mull it over and maybe come around… sometimes – depends on how deeply I fear or don’t want to?
** I also look for loopholes
I think I can do anything … but then I am reminded I can’t always… life teaches me lessons to “need people” 😐… which is fine… but I wanna do myself lol … life sometimes has hard time to teach me … I am the hard way learner 😮😉
I love having a personality and being who am ❤️ love those around me and what I do for others ❤️ I love many things in my life ❤️
But I also have a fire 🔥 lol … be careful with fire
The fire is there when protecting people or something important to me… so it’s not a bad fire 🔥 … is a passionate one 😘
I am also a dreamer 😉 I will aim
Extremely family oriented ❤️🫶❤️
Also… very suspicious of motives lol 🤷♀️ so I watch behavior and words very carefully
I am romantic but I don’t show you or anyone else that – I keep that close to my chest cause nope 👎 … I don’t mind that you know that “because I tell you”… but to know “because I want you” is something totally different lol ✌️😘
So far I don’t feel that yet… and I’m NOT doing that with just anyone. Nope 👎 I don’t want to give that until I am sure and feel it. if that ever happens – otherwise I’m cool too – I like the peace ☮️
And I don’t know … I’m very protective of “me” lol ✌️ so … yeah I don’t trust anyone to come that close yet … and I don’t know? We see … I’m fine alone too
I like it to just “be” …and fall into place like that without pressure and let me know you… but people are not sure how to do that 🤷♀️ so whatever 🙄
I also have a silence thing… I will go silent in certain circumstances … sometimes that happens … been through alot
But generally I’m fine at work – it’s just what handling personally in own life … when I have to focus on myself or my awful things, then I struggle 😉…
When I help others – I am soo much better 😊❤️
Anyway… I guess that’s what I would say?
❤️
Is a wonderful world because I appreciate what I have and what I build … but the world could also use some fixing 🙄 but I’m not referring to that with that last song … just being blessed by life and appreciating the world and people I have. ❤️🫶
I want to savor all the incredible moments I can in life, because I know is numbered. So enjoy while you can 🙏
This question did not give me a limit with what to say lol 😘
I’m sorry I am sleepy during the week … I need more sleep and way overworked still. 💤
I be back when able ❤️
I’ll respond to responses in morning – my eyes hurt so bad tonight – they must close 😮😮
I always say to kids “I’m just resting my eyes” lol… they never accept that answer and say that I am just sleeping lol … ok well don’t ask me if I am sleeping then – I will say that ✌️😘
So let’s see … let’s rewind to Friday ❤️
Friday I did half day at my location and then went to Sacramento to be with all my old peeps – miss them sooo much!! ❤️ it was wonderful to be with them for small little moments ❤️ had wonderful time and said goodbye …but not goodbye …to my best girl lol
Her and I went through Covid together at a funeral home 😮 – we tight … she retire from directing and moving to prearrangements … so I still get to see her… still my team ❤️
Friday was wonderful day ❤️
Although I will tell you … I CAN NOT BELIEVE I DID THAT DRIVE FOR 3 YEARS!! 😮😮
Holy Moly!! That’s insane
BUT you have to remember that 2 years of that time was during all the Covid stuff … so while everyone was at home – I worked and had those highways all to myself 🙌 – it was MUCH better then
But Friday Omg … way WAY way too much traffic!
Worth it to see them all ❤️ sight for sore eyes ❤️ … but crazy traffic!!
Ya know what it felt like? It felt like going to my parents house or family – it was funeral home – but felt like going home to visit 😮❤️ I miss them ❤️
❤️
I love them – but i would NOT want that drive NOW! 😮 it’s insane!!
Saturday… well I learned how old I am 😮😐 … body wise 😐
Normally I am full of energy and life (except in winter) … I am all kinds of bendable and flexible always … has never been issue… and then I forget that I have limitations now
Well… I went outside to get all the fallen leaves – which mind you… was deep 😮😳
So I would use the blower and make these HUGE piles of leaves 🍁…
And then Doby would come running out of no where and jump right in all the leaves and then I have to do again 😐🙄 and this was a cycle until I wanted to be done – then he went inside reluctantly, for a minute …
Omg so many HUGE mounds of leaves 🍁
Anyway – I feel all my muscles & chest … I was hurtin really bad earlier 😮
I am not a gardening person and do not really like yard work at this moment.
Ugh it’s painful!! 😫
Today I recovered … and sorta did stuff around home – it was a lot on my chest – I over did it. 😮
My daughter has some activities going on this week
😐 so… I knew there was gonna be things lol … such as “bathing suits” … she can’t find hers – she is notorious for losing her swimsuits 🩱 🤨 every year this occurs
Well … I didn’t wanna be going all over the place while she tried everything on and wonder about store after store 🙄😐
So I just make it easy on myself and I ordered her a bathing suit I thought she would like … it is black and purple – beautiful …
Is a tankini so more coverage than a 👙 bikini… she is modest … but better than a one piece, so you don’t have to get naked to use bathroom …
I make sure was flattering and pretty and inspected to make sure would be comfortable and something she would like
… and let me just say “nailed it” 👏👏👏
But then she says – I need a present 🎁… I already got that to… I know my shit lol ❤️👏
I got you my baby ✌️❤️
Also saved myself gas, time and recovery lol
Ok … here comes Monday – ready? 😐 ugh Monday 💁♀️
Alright – I’m ready and on my mountain!! 💪
Alright then – bring on Monday
💪 … bleh … but hurry up with Friday 🙏🙏🙏
Today I sorta work half day… and then go see coworker who leaving – I get to be with and see all my old peeps today ❤️❤️❤️❤️
❤️❤️❤️
I love Friday ❤️👏 Friday and July Forever. ❤️✌️
❤️
Happy Friday ❤️👏 oh thank god! Lol
I still stand on my mountain 🏔️ 💪💋
I can NOT get a post to come out right tonight
Let’s see, what can I say? Well let’s just say I have copy of State Laws – cause we can certainly go there.
Let’s just say that.
Yes – I do stand upon the mountain I will die on – absolutely!!
So we will just leave it at that …
And this week is like the week of fricken Mondays … omg!!
But alright – bring it on tmrw
I can’t even think of music 😮😮
Nothing fits 😬
… yet … wait for tmrw and then we see
I have nothing else to say this evening – and also no songs 😮
What would you change about modern society?
This is a funny question that I don’t know if you truly want me to answer … plus there are so many things!! I don’t have that time …something I would change 😉
I think first and foremost … we have such a mental health problem and homeless … those are our 2 massive issues … if I start listing off – this is going to be a very long post and like I said – I don’t have the time for this
More heat today… and mental health… work
What day is it ? Only fricken Tuesday?
Ahhhh!!!
Learning Life 