I am quiet today.

I had a uh-oh moment … sorta…

When we all got quarantined – after a few weeks people be stepping outside…

That’s when I started to get to know the neighbor. I like her…

It’s just… I kinda withdrew? I have close friends – just no one new AND right here.

I only keep a few really close to me… I am guarded with everyone men or women… women I am more relaxed with cause they are not trying to date me usually!!! I don’t have to worry about that part with women, so it’s a little easier to drop guards with women.

Anyway… I’ve been keeping a slight distance … besides socially distancing … I help her with her yard – she helps me…

She is fricken hilarious – Oh my god! Totally get her!!! She’s sweet and thoughtful… beautiful human being.

I keep a small distance because if I am being honest? I haven’t really un-withdrew yet… I came out here to the country last July right after my surgery… I had to get away… so I found my peace here? There is was no noise…

No abuse, no doctors, no hospitals, no deaths, no surgery, it just all went silent. Like a Big Bang and then silence?

I find my peace out here, and I am safe and I have privacy.. I haven’t come back at all. I have my really close friends and they are my family.

But I’m afraid if we get too close I’m gonna lose my peace??

Does that matter ? Am I ok with that?

I really like her… ALOT!! As a friend… I like her…

We just really started knowing each other… I thought I would keep my distance to preserve my peace … so I was just cautious …

But every day I see her… I like her more and more and think uh-oh 😳

We laugh so much, and she gets my jokes and is quick witted with a come back lol… which is amazing – she has impeccable timing with that… she is completely delightful… I smile when I see her!! Really big

And then tonight on our walk… Oh my god! We were speaking in unison 😮… we thought of the same thing, at the same time and said the same words without even skipping a beat 😮

Oh no!! I click really well with her – I feel at ease… I’m not totally at ease trusting totally just yet … I think she’s good

But wow 😮

And then someone close to her recently hurt her (not a man – was a family member) she was hurt a lot and still is …

She was telling me that this family member is so mean to people who do things for them … which I have seen… her family are also neighbors…

She just went on talking about the whole situation (which is really hurtful) and how she felt and then said “I don’t want to hurt people like that”

The way she said it was so sincere – I know she doesn’t … she’s very sweet.

So we have the same humor, we are speaking in unison 🤨, we are both kind and thoughtful and click.

So alright … I can sacrifice peace for that. Or I’m willing slowly lol ✌️ ease into it lol

Yeah ease into it. That sounds better

I like her – and I like having a friend while isolated. I do think she be a good friend after isolation too.

I just need slow because we both have a level of excitement with things. Did I just find my clone?

But yeah… I also still like my peace and privacy…I am very protective with my privacy… which is part of my peace lol

I just don’t want best friend level… I need slow for that one – she is really similar to me 😮

Comin in fast!!

Sometimes there are people who go really fast with me when we click. She is a fast one

That is our difference … she is fast …I am slow… I’m a little weird with my withdrawing thing – just private. Like the peace.

She’s aware. She knows what I went through and she knows I isolated. So I can just be at ease a little with that…

I am someone people feel at ease with instantly and I can click easily with people. Fast

Keep in mind… as a child … I was constantly moving … I was always always always the new girl… I had to learn how to fit in really fast… over and over

So I can click with people really fast … so I’m just cautious.

She is a good person… it’s not that… with that I welcome her with open arms …

I just don’t wanna over do it too fast… slllloooooowwww … I need slow

I don’t wanna get all over excited and then she’s like me, so that’s like dynamite…

That could get close real fast… yes I am afraid of that. I just need slow

Too fast and I’ll pull back, I’ll need the isolation? The peace? I will always speak my peace – but I will pull back if too fast – it’s new … I haven’t stopped being withdrawn?

So just being careful. Don’t really let people come close in my life if they are not already there.

She is still new to me. This is a new thing. I haven’t let down my guard with a new person in a long time. Very long time …

Ok so, we just go slow. And I have a new good friend 💕

I just didn’t expect corona was gonna bring me some amazing person… I did not see that coming!! 😮

The last time I visited my brother, we went to the rodeo… these are some videos – I hope they work 🙏 thought be fun to pass the time and share these

This is a rodeo at the Stockyards in Fort Worth, Texas ❤️✌️ 🇺🇸… it was incredibly thrilling to be there in person.

I’ll have to do this in “parts” because of the videos 🤨 but is really cool to see, being there is incredible! I’ll do another part later, it’s annoying me right now

Anyway – hope you enjoyed the entertainment

www.youtube.com/watch

Today was kinda boring… nope I did not go to the store… I will eventually. Until then I be creative or make magic lol 😄✌️

Kidding … but I did get creative … and I learned something …

I had a bag of onions … so… some I used in the dinner and other I chopped to use later so they don’t go bad…

Well it was really pungent with the smell of onions … really pungent 😄

When you have a teenager who doesn’t like to go out much – onions work lol …

I was bugging her earlier to take a walk with me or let’s see if we can go to the pool … she never wants to.

It’s too hot and there are bugs lol (not a country girl) …

She doesn’t see the point if there is no where to go, and it doesn’t seem to bother her? As far as staying inside.

I still try … come maybe see the world with me lol ✌️

Nope today she didn’t want to… but then I cooked and chopped onions lol 😄✌️ … and she’s out 😄

The added bonus of onions ❤️ lol … also took a walk with me after dinner! Onions who knew? Lol

www.youtube.com/watch

My mom used to cook big breakfasts on the weekends…

I be trying to sleep and smelling bacon lol … fine whatever I’ll get up lol – the foods you use ✌️

www.youtube.com/watch

I just like that song – plus is food related … and that song makes me smile ❤️

I was a little apprehensive to touch this one … but ok … whatever … it was really easy!! Lol – not sure what that says?

Anyway this is again a musical scavenger hunt…

Mixitup and Playme Now! https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2020/04/27/mixitup-and-playme-now-4/ — Read on aguycalledbloke.blog/2020/04/27/mixitup-and-playme-now-4/

Anyway… these would be my picks for naughty with a twist… 10 songs …

1.) Samantha Fox – Touch me

www.youtube.com/watch

https://youtu.be/W1btg3mpEOc

2.) Divinyls – I touch myself

www.youtube.com/watch

https://youtu.be/wv-34w8kGPM

3.) Beyoncé – Naughty girl

www.youtube.com/watch

https://youtu.be/RZuJ_OHBN78

4.) Danger Danger – Naughty Naughty

www.youtube.com/watch

https://youtu.be/HbJWJn8RZdY

5.) Y&T Dirty Girl

www.youtube.com/watch

https://youtu.be/Nbnhm4WHsvw

6.) Def Leopard – Pour some sugar on me

www.youtube.com/watch

https://youtu.be/0UIB9Y4OFPs

7.) Trick Daddy – Sugar (gimme some) (lol)

www.youtube.com/watch

https://youtu.be/ryAQEK4IyG8

8.) Sublime – Caress me down

www.youtube.com/watch

https://youtu.be/8domDOhh0A0

9.) Petey Pablo – Freak A Leak

www.youtube.com/watch

https://youtu.be/M48nlk-1kH8

10.) 50 cent – Just a lil bit

www.youtube.com/watch

https://youtu.be/GllEDACUbNo

So that’s my list… I had an easy time on this one 😮

Flo Rida – Dirty Mind

www.youtube.com/watch

https://youtu.be/IB_kHyQdsi0

But not that I’m naughty… lol … this is what I think of when you say naughty… the twist is you don’t know if I am or not lol … I don’t share that

Christina Aguilera – Genie in a Bottle

www.youtube.com/watch

https://youtu.be/kIDWgqDBNXA

Well I have to go to the store 🤨😑 I don’t want to.

I think about how I have to suit up, do all kinds of precautions and do that… I don’t want to.

Yes I probably will moan about this every time until it’s fixed. I just hate it so much!!

I miss going to the store just on a whim, or a need and not thinking about it. Oh I need this, ok let me go grab it…

It is not like that now!!

Now I think of going to the store and I feel ugh… I just moan!! Do I have to??? I feel like when you were little and your mom would make you do something you hated doing!! Ugh really ?? I don’t want to scrub the toilets lol (I had a younger brother!!!) 😝

When I was a kid… we would help my father with yardwork on Saturday’s… mostly that consisted of, my dad doing everything and me and my brother messing around lol

But my dad was Mr. HGTV… it had to be perfect… it always was… people used to come to our door just to tell my dad how beautiful it was.

Anyway… after working the yard on Saturday’s … he would go in and shower… then come ask “who wants to go to 7-11?”

😮 ME!!!!!

7-11 meant slushies and whatever candy we wanted ❤️😮 oooohhh candy ❤️ yes ME!! I wanna go!!

Sometimes my brother didn’t wanna come… I would always pick him out a candy and bring him a slushie too.

I always picked Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for him… the same way I like Cadbury Eggs… he likes the peanut butter cups. Anything chocolate and peanut butter!!

I always got a “whatchamacalit” Lol … I just like those… I kinda started something with that with my daughter?

A Whatchamacalit … umm it just makes me remember so I like them still… reminds me…

So I would buy one if we were out on occasion … she would want a candy too and I said we split this… it’s big

Well now that’s our thing… if we stop for gas or something, we get one… and then we split it ❤️ funny how that works.

Sometimes as a kid I would switch it up and get something other than a whatchamacallit lol …

Sometimes I got Junior Mints or Sweettarts? If I got a peppermint patty lol… I used to reenact the commercials as I ate it 😄✌️

Anyway… I don’t wanna go out. I live too far out for delivery and can’t order cause it takes days to get still even with pick up… and then you don’t even know they get all you wanted or needed.

So… will have to suit up soon. 😑

Ugh I just moan so much with that!!!

It’s not totally morning yet, it is, but I would not normally be awake. And if I was working my alarm not even go off yet… Is still pitch black out…

We watched a movie last night… and was so tired so had to go to bed…

My little lady stayed up … I said she could, I was tired and her and her friends decided to have a virtual sleep over at like 11pm last night.

I said that was ok because they don’t get to see each other, or have much fun together … she has good grades and everything is turned in and completed… and she has really awesome friends. I really like her friends – my kids pick really good friends.

So wasn’t a problem… yeah go ahead, just keep it down – I really need sleep ok?

So she did that. I went to bed

What I did not know… was that yesterday while I was at work… this woman opened several packages of food items, didn’t close them or put them in containers or bags… ate some put back in cabinet and went about her business not even giving second thought.

So at 3am I am woken to “Mom can you help me? there are ants”

Oh my gosh, I am completely sleeping …so is like you are somewhat dreaming… what? What’s going on?

So I had to get up, fight that battle – which was not fun in the slightest… I’m like umm … why is all of this open and not bagged or put in container?

We have ants … I am ALWAYS careful to keep them away… they are brutal…

I am very vigilant… I spray, I clean constantly… I definitely do not want ants

I have containers that seal for this purpose, I also keep baggies with zippers for same reason… every single thing is locked air tight away … that way I do not get ants or lose food… she knows this. This is NOT a new thing… This is the country we gonna have ants unless you lock stuff away. Everything is always bagged or sealed away!

Lost quite a bit of things 🤨 bleh. So I’m not totally a happy camper at this moment … I just battled an army of ants, lost a bunch of food… I got woken up to handle that and already exhausted…

She doesn’t like bugs or anything like that so she won’t help me fight them… or clean up afterwards even if they are dead.

So I do all of that, was also kinda lecturing about making sure ALL food items are always always always sealed!! You just have to… I don’t mind if she eats whatever but please seal that up when done to prevent these issues. I also don’t have money to be throwing away like that.

She watches me, listens and tells me she’s sorry. Ok, it’s ok… just please remember – I don’t really like waking at 3am to have an ant battle

And then she asks if I can make her this particular food which takes prep time and then I have to cook 🤨…

Woman!!! Lol what??

Then that made me realize the time… 😳… are you just going to bed?

Yeah maybe?

By now it was 4am… ok whatever I said she could do that sleepover – so that one is on me

But no … I’m not starting a huge production to cook you a meal at 4am after all that, and being at work all day yesterday.

I worked, I’m constantly cleaning and cooking and everything else… I’m exhausted, and just battled ants … she can wait until breakfast 😑

I am still exhausted, but now I have to fall back to sleep. It’s almost morning anyway, but I do want a little more sleep time. Just one more hour or 2 and I be good.

Hopefully I can just have an hour or so before the sun comes up … once the sun is up – I’m up

I’m gonna put a warning sign on my cabinet doors … “Bag or seal ALL food to prevent ants!” Didn’t think I needed a sign ⚠️ but would prefer this did not happen.

That was not pleasant 🤨😑

Ok gonna sleep little more – maybe 🙏 still dark!

I am in bed now, we gonna watch a movie – she is picking. Still little light headed? But better.

I’m not eating that again.

It was busier than normal today…

I’m a little tired.

After work one of my friends called me

I guess just to check on me…but he likes to chit chat lol … catch up… I haven’t talked to him in um? Months? I haven’t seen anyone

He was talking about the gas and a ton of things…

I had to tell him… I don’t watch the news, I stay away from social media, I read things here and there but that’s it. So I don’t know trends or whatever else … He knows everything that’s going on lol … I just wanna be done with it. If I take all that in – oh boy would be so overwhelmed. Is too much. I just wanna focus on getting through this.

He knows I am little sensitive with being overwhelmed … I want to avoid it – so I kinda just block out. ?

I have this thing… with having peace ??? I kinda still need it. So ya know? Just coping how able

Anyway, we talked about the gas, I forgot to look and didn’t wanna stop. (I have to go to store too, but I just wanted to get home.)

He was telling me about his ex… he always talks about her… I don’t mind – I like to listen… she was his one… he’s an idiot for letting her go. Now he misses her … she was his one… they did fit perfect

He’s just a cool friend who gets me … not interested though

He a friend you can pick up where you left off with also… I talk to him every couple weeks/months …

He is a story teller kinda like me? Our days are like stories lol … so I get to hear stories and then share my own – I like that – is fun

He’s only a friend … I don’t see him any other way.

He asked me is I was seeing anyone?

That question just makes me squirm … I don’t wanna talk about that stuff …

But told the story about country boy… quickly and glossed over – cause let’s change subjects

I don’t like talking about that stuff … he does and he talks about his… but I just like more privacy. Not that there is anything there – but distance – I feel more comfortable. I want nothing to do with being hit on! Or sending wrong message … so the distance in areas, is just better

I am always honest with him, but I also prefer the privacy and distance. I don’t want to have to worry.

I don’t really want to think about dating at all right now ? So I would rather not add to the pile

But we had a good talk… we are both funny… sometimes he’s chatty …sometimes me? So just a nice talk sharing stories

Anyway … gonna watch a movie with daughter and I’m gonna probably fall asleep – I’m really tired – I don’t know if I’m even gonna make it past the opening credits

Stay safe ✌️ Gnite

I was making her watch this lol… I LOVE THIS ❤️❤️❤️… kinda bad quality videos but I love this…

www.youtube.com/watch

And then part 6 lol

www.youtube.com/watch

She rolled her eyes too ❤️✌️

Gnite

Is probably my favorite ❤️ I love when they do that – they haven’t done in a long time though – I love these 2 together!

I ate something that my body didn’t like??

I ate one of those cookies in a mug? I had never tried one, so I tried one… I’m pretty careful what I eat… so nothing else was different or unhealthy.

It was really yummy… but ever since … I feel light headed and dizzy? Tired? I dunno? Really shaky??? Really shaky!!!

What is that???

Was the only different thing that I normally don’t eat??

I can have chocolate without that issue? So?? I don’t know? But I am really shaky and light headed ?

Ok don’t eat that again!!

Have never had that issue before??

Ok heading home in 10 minutes. ✌️

I’m a little shaky and jumpy today?? Weird

It is beautiful outside though ❤️

Ohhhh I forgot to bring shorts to change into … ugh I just now thought of that!! 🤨 well whatever – I have ac … that will be fine 😏 …

I am not in all black today … today I just went normal 🤨 … always the black pants – but I have a Kelly Green top…

I like this top too though … it’s no Elvira … but it’s umm?? Like silky? So it’s like you are wearing nothing because it’s so airy and light. It’s really pretty with gold buttons down the front … I love this color green. 💚

Top wise it won’t be bad… but I don’t like pants … I like skirts or shorts – I like legs lol

www.youtube.com/watch

I definitely like leg!!!! Even in high school … always in shorts or mini skirts always always always!! I would try to push it in winter too… nylons and leggings ya know – still with the shorts and skirts though lol ✌️

Jeans are ok for coldness and sometimes you just have to layer… I just prefer no layers lol ✌️

I have to go. I’ll be back tonight

Oooh 😯… just walked into the service room 😳 where we have services …

Is all decked out in Catholic … I didn’t expect to see that ok

Not that it’s a big deal or anything… just sent a chill? 😳

Just threw me off for a minute… walked in thinking all be normal… I wasn’t paying attention as I walked in, until I looked up and it was not at all normal!!

I still have to go back in there … it makes me feel a little twinge, just cause I wasn’t expecting ?