… while staying strong
So just been thinking … I might have to find a new job ? Or something … So looking at things… I might not have a choice too much longer
Anyway, I was looking there was this which made me laugh cause telepathically lol what?
That was in a real job description 😄😄
Not sure I have that skill ?
Just didn’t expect that wording – it was for remote work lol – someone is funny lol ❤️
Shortly after my oldest was born… you know how you want pictures of your kid? When they little? And pretty much always lol ✌️
Well the problem with that is … I was a first time mother, and thrilled to be so. He was the most beautiful human I had ever laid eyes on … he has my eyes. ❤️ I created him!!! 😮
So… they took the photos … well Oh my god! Every photo was perfect – yes I will take them all, give them all to me lol 😄… you can’t let me do things like that by myself lol … I had bought a very large photo package lol
Of which, I got in trouble for… and had to return a rather large portion 🤨 that was painful – was like leaving my kid behind … the beautiful photo memories lol
But whatever ok too much money… ugh that killed me… don’t show me all the pictures – how am I not supposed to fall in love? I made that… is my master piece lol ❤️✌️but whatever I get it
As he grew… when he got about 2 years old … suddenly he is terrified of Santa 🤨… what??? He’s a great guy!! Give him a chance lol…
I literally tried over and over to get that Santa picture … at least 10 times … nope was not gonna happen 🤨 so I was gonna give up… fine… no Santa picture this year… I’ll just forever explain why I don’t have one for that year lol ✌️
… but as we walking out of the mall, after I decided to give up… there was a photo booth… well let’s see, at least gimme that so I can have something?
They had a Santa you could super impose into the picture – yes fine I will have that … I got my Santa picture ❤️ … lol I was so thrilled – I outsmarted his fear of Santa lol … that photo is just a little different than the others lol ✌️ I worked very hard for that photo that year lol – that photo has a story lol ❤️
All three of my kids were afraid of Santa at exactly age 2 lol … by the third child – I just went straight to the photo booths for year 2.
Actually I did try one time with the 3rd just in case? Ya never know… could get lucky… But nope it was all 3 lol … where’s the booth?
And then as he continued aging 🤨 … he was turning 3?… I booked an appt to have his photos taken. We knew this… yet he was a boy 🤨😄 full of zooming energy lol
Someone tripped, hit his eye on the coffee table and got a nice shiner 🤨 right before pictures 🤨… really kid? Looking like a little rascal? 🤨
He looked like my dad a lot when he was little.
I can see myself in him … he has my eyes – and my smile.
Funny thing… I believe I have said this before – but it is really funny to me? Worth another mention lol… I was not aware this could happen lol
On his head… his hair is just brown… normal brown…
However … when he wants to grow a beard lol … it grows in red 😮😄❤️ that would be from me 😄✌️… I find that funny
Sometimes – I look into the face of a grown man, and I can see my little boy? ❤️ that’s kinda mind blowing 💥
He is turning 26 soon 😮 whoa!! Just crazy.
On a side note… just now 😄😄… my daughter broke out in this song lol … so I harassed her with the real one lol – we couldn’t stop laughing ❤️
How do you not laugh at this?…
How am I a grown up? When did I get old?
I have this one girlfriend who is 360 from me… as in, complete opposite in every possible way.
Her daughter had some issues – kids picked on her badly… and she was shy and quiet – sweet little girl…
The school called me one day and asked if I would be ok if they pair this girl up with my daughter?
My daughter knows everyone, and everyone knows and loves her, she’s funny and has a good heart – friendly… good grades … good girl… so I said sure and they became friends
Her daughter had some emotional issues because of all the teasing and bullying she was experiencing from the other kids. She was a cutter?
Do you know what that is? It’s when you physically harm yourself to take away the emotional pain… (I had to have these talks with my daughter because I want her aware of what’s around her – definitely do not want to shelter – only guide and I believe knowledge and communication are power)
Anyway… my daughter saved her life and brought sunshine to her. The other little girl is no longer sad and no longer picked on.
The mom is forever grateful… so we met…
She’s so 360 of me, I did not know if I could handle having her in my life??
So at first I kept a massive distance – just friendly… and she kept trying to be my friend… every time I would pull back, she’d come closer 😮
Finally I just told her… look I’m kinda really quiet and private – not sure I can handle your style? I’ve been through a lot – I was really sad at that time… I had just been diagnosed with cancer, lost my father and grandfather and my mother had Alzheimer’s so… I was really not in a good place.
I think she saw that?
So I kinda pushed her away… but she would keep making sure I was ok or did I need anything. I always said I was fine or didn’t need anything …
But then she started drop off little things that would make me smile? I would come home and it would be on my front door step… it was just sweet that someone would go out of their way to make someone smile like that? Especially if you knew they were hurting
Just like … if I told her about something I loved – it would be something referencing that. I said I loved Cadbury chocolate, and she got me a whole basket… She was listening and making effort just to be my friend.
So… I let my guard down … not totally right away… but I was tired and this woman held her hand out to me kinda? I took her hand
She was there when I open my eyes out of surgery the first time… she sat with me in the recovery room… got me anything I wanted … stayed until I was released and then checked on me constantly, helping me with the tubes and the bandages …
So yeah I let the guard down… she has quirks like I do but different … because we are different – just saying we quirky lol
Anyway… I don’t always agree with her… she can be really harsh with the stone cold reality stuff 😳
Sometimes that’s a lot for me.
Sometimes we clash lol
Like sometimes I can’t handle her cold hard reality cause it comes hard core!! Ok … let’s not overwhelm me with impending doom – I know all about that lol
Or sometimes we can’t handle each other … because we are so different we can clash here and there … we are both strong willed in our own ways lol … so neither will back down lol…
At which point it’s useless to continue lol … so I will usually stop the convo or discussion – ok you think your way, I’ll think mine
She has strength which I admire… there are certain things about her I admire very much…
And same goes for her towards me… I am soft … she doesn’t have that softness … I am also a people magnet and she loves attention – I however hate it lol
We are always there for each other even with the differences … we put effort into each other because each offers something the other doesn’t have or is missing? Something we can learn from?
And she is a really amazing friend… we are there for each other emotionally when those moments come up. We have helped each other through a lot
We bring a view to each other’s lives that we are unfamiliar with? But that also helps.
She’s kinda held my hand through a lot?
So… essentially … my daughter saved her daughter – and she saved me. ❤️
Just because their are differences or issues doesn’t mean you can’t learn together.
Friendship is about wanting to be in that persons life and enjoying who that person is – as is.
That’s another thing… we accept each other as is. She has her things – I have mine. Neither of us judge the other.
We may give opinion on whatever lol … and you can take it however you want – just a different view or perspective that either her or I didn’t think of.
I talked to her today ❤️🥰❤️ I consider her family. She has a devotion like that…
Today though she was very um ?? Harsh with the virus reality which I currently avoid lol … I know it’s bad, I know it’s gonna continue to be bad… for a long time, I also know it’s gonna be different – things are gonna change yet again!
But she was ranting … I listen to what I can but then I will zone out if too much lol
Then we switch subjects… and we talk about the kids …
Our parenting styles are different … so we don’t always agree there either lol… I am very active in my kids lives and schooling … and she is not and she makes the kids responsible for their own selves – which is good… they know their own grades are their responsibility and they better not mess that up – they don’t
I make my daughter responsible for her grades but at the same time I am involved with the teachers and what’s going on in her life. I check the school site where I can see everything – every assignment… every note – everything. I still feel she needs guidance ? Here comes high school which is emotionally charged – I wanna make sure she’s stable and on top of it.
My girlfriend wants to prepare her kids to be adult and I do too – we just have different ways … we learn things from each other
We just have different perspectives – but allow each other to be who we are?
Plus I can totally make her laugh … when I first met her – right away she said, “I’m not a funny person, I don’t like comedy” lol … uh ok? Lol
Well “meet me” lol … things she never would have found funny … I now make her see funny
Is nice to hear her laugh or see her smile.
Anyway, always enjoy our talks – today was a little doom and gloom
But we still ended laughing so it works. ✌️ we make each other feel better ❤️🥰❤️
I have a funny story from a long time ago…
So this story is about my oldest son… at the time he was about 2 or 3? I was a young mom, totally into parenting ❤️ was made to be a mom ❤️… love being a mom ❤️ am a creative mom… my parenting style is creative ✌️
Well anyway… we went to the mall … just me and him… I’m thinking I was getting his pictures done or something? (Which is another whole story for later)
We got there early and were sitting near a pet store inside the mall…
Well Oh my god! I love animals and so does he… so we moseyed over lol…
They had ferrets in the window… tons of adorable little ferrets all jumping all over the place …
I have always loved loved loved making my kids laugh… and I’m kinda funny? (Self proclaimed lol) My son was my focus… and this day I just completely blocked out everything else around except him. ❤️
So we kneeled down in front of the pet store window, watching those ferrets…
I started making voices and personalities for them… like they were the puppets and I was their voice?
I had my son laughing so hard… like belly laughing… so I lost myself in that… we were having so much fun and laughing so hard…
I did not realize the crowd 😳 that had formed behind us like we were street performers lol … 😮 Oh my god!
I was soooo embarrassed but loved those moments with my son ❤️ happy others found funny too…
It wasn’t just my funny words or voices… it was because he was completely belly laughing like that. ❤️🥰❤️ his laugh was so hilarious… and I was doing that ❤️
That memory makes me smile… I was so embarrassed at the time though lol – I was young, like to not be noticed lol ✌️
We drew attention that day lol oops
I do really love that memory though – he remembers ❤️🥰❤️
Oh yeah… one more thing…
This kinda made me laugh this morning ❤️
And then this one too… just because people have a sense of humor sometimes ❤️
My daughter claims to not like most of the music I play lol… although once in a blue moon she will find one of mine she likes 😄✌️ (I love when that happens!) I just like exposing her to all different kinds – giving her a musical knowledge and influence ✌️❤️
I love when I play a song … and she grumbles at it… and then I find her singing it or stuck on it 😄❤️ that delights me completely lol ✌️
Sometimes I will insist we go through all my songs instead of the playlists … cause we haven’t even scratched the surface of the music I have… I want to see what else I can grab her attention with?
Sometimes while going through all songs – she will find one that sparks her… I love that too!! ❤️ (I also love to remind her how awesome ALL my songs are lol … but she always rolls her eyes lol)
Secretly, she will admit on rare occasion, that she does like my music …but don’t tell anyone lol 😄❤️
And sometimes she actually does hate my music – but that could be because sometimes I am a dork with it lol ✌️ if it has a dance – yup I’m doin that 😄… Macarena? Yup lol
How you not dance when that comes on?? lol … yeah she’s not a fan of my dancing either lol 😄😄 I have many awesome dances 😄❤️
I’m always playing music… but I also am aware of what songs have gone through that day… I pay attention to every song for whatever reason? Even if seems like I am not paying attention – I am.
Last night while we getting ready for bed… she was singing this… 😮 ….
I have not played this song… I know this song – I can feel the time period of this song… she kinda blew me away… usually I have to introduce songs to her if they are from before she can remember. She completely caught me by surprise
My little birdy… discovering on her own ❤️😄
She totally grabbed my attention when she started singing that, I know for a fact I have not played that song!! I actually forgot all about that song…
My little woman reminded me lol ❤️ awww
My music is in my memories and stuff like that… so she sparked me with one I forgot …
And that makes me think of this song… weird how that works …
I find that song really beautiful ❤️
Anyway…
Yeah… I get eye rolls lol ❤️✌️
I went to start dinner … we were just having an easy dinner, salad 🥗 , pasta 🍝 , and 🍞… so I made the sauce that had to simmer…
While that was simmering – I made the salad dressing… I had to shake it… I’m kinda funny in person … so she’s at the kitchen table online with her friends…
So I was shaking the dressing but also maybe shaking “myself” 😄😄
And she’s like “mom please” 🙄
Lol… ok well don’t egg me on …
So I put this on…
😄😄… then said… you don’t like my shake? Lol
I got her to laugh 😄❤️ but then she asked me to maybe take my music and my shake to the other room lol
She’s not a fan of my music lol… and my shake would definitely embarrass her, if her friends ever saw lol 😄😄
We gonna watch some movie in maybe 15 minutes – woo hoo! I have to find movies that grab her attention … I haven’t introduced her to Pitch Perfect yet… so gonna do that one. ❤️
That will grab her ❤️
Ok I don’t really know how to do these? Hopefully I do this right?
I have been nominated for the ‘Bloggers Recognition Award’ by
Tarot readings and blog — Read on morgantarot.co.uk
I would highly recommend that you go check out her website and blog. If you love learning and enjoy reading all sorts of things – she has an awesome blog about tarot readings – it’s soooo interesting, grabs your attention and is just cool. So intriguing. Excellent writer
Rules to the Blogger Recognition Award
******************************
1.) Thank you very much http://morgantarot.co.uk for the award nomination… I have been enjoying reading your posts and learning about the tarot cards – is pretty cool! Thanks for wanting to learn about me. ✌️
2.) I think this is the post I write to say about the award? Lol
3.) I started blogging just to write things out so I could think better, put my words down? Maybe save some of my memories to look back on later? That was just recently… I started at maybe the end of October? 2019. I am quiet currently so it ended up being really awesome way I can just “be” and still have my peace … plus I learn sooooo much about everyone else!! Is awesome!! Enjoy that!
4.) umm… advice? I feel like I am not the person to answer this one lol.. I’m the one who will get us lost (I call those adventures, I have those lol) …
I think maybe love what you write about cause that shows through?
And umm … I dunno what else? Lol … stay safe while writing ✍️ 😷 lol ✌️
5.) ok I don’t know if fifteen will “do for me”… but I like to learn from these bloggers… if you have already done one – no worries I can’t remember who’s I’ve seen already … I read many … I also understand if you quiet and don’t do that ✌️ just curious
etc, running, outdoors, journal — Read on antin.blog
Reality continues to ruin my life — Read on leendadll.wordpress.com
Bereavement single parent dad — Read on bereavedsingledad.blog
Storytelling My Life For You! — Read on aguycalledbloke.blog
Listen to your inner self..it has all the answers.. — Read on empress2inspire.blog
Gen X’er chronicles the art form of living in the Angelino metropolitan environment through poetry, creative writing, art, photography, and culture. — Read on wordslessspoken781842219.blog
A little writing workshop of horrors — Read on lucysworkscom.home.blog
Life is a bubble, Make it as delusional as possible! — Read on delusionalbubble.com
Here’s To Express.. 🙂 — Read on thebrokenspecs.wordpress.com
Whispers towards the moon — Read on poetryinahowl.wordpress.com
— Read on danventuretravels.com
Science, Astronomy and Words — Read on astrosanjeet.wordpress.com
love each other like you are the lyric and they are the music — Read on srijan2016.wordpress.com
— Read on freddiemercuryonline.org
Gather ’round and hear a tale… — Read on brotherscampfire.com
Hopefully I have done this correctly 😮 … you can’t do me again lol… I just did it ✌️… I think that’s a unspoken rule? Lol 😘✌️
Ugh… well that was NOT fun!! The entire time going to the store I am thinking … ok is there any possible way I can NOT have to do this? I wanted an excuse sooooo badly!!!
Whatever – no excuse – just did it 😑
As I am driving there is a 4-way stop… I slowly come to relaxed stop … I am in no rush to get to the store lol ✌️
And another car comes flying to a stop on one of the other ways … when they came to their stop … they were already in middle lol… just go lol … I can’t go until they move
It was funny though so I laughed cause what am I supposed to do? – you might as well go! So I waved her to just go… and she looked and me smiled and made a face lol like oops… we both smiled though so not a big deal… slow your roll lol ✌️
Once at the store took me 5 minutes to suit it up 🤨 only my eyes show lol ✌️ ugh I don’t like that
The young people don’t even wear masks 😮 under the age of 30… no mask 😮
I’m wearing a mask and suited up lol – do not care. Doing that. All the older people masked and protected.
I’m not gonna take that chance – regardless of my age… I am good. I will be safe.
When I got home, my daughter helped me put groceries away.
And then… I guess my friend and her family member made up? She was invited over tonight for margaritas and dinner…
She asked if I wanted to come … but no I do not lol… ✌️
First of all… if there was a problem and then you add alcohol – I don’t want to be uncomfortable. I like my nice little peaceful existence. ✌️ I have my daughter and don’t want any drama of any kind.
Plus… I don’t know the family member … and I just don’t feel comfortable – go do your thing – have a good time!
She laughs because she already knows I avoid any new people lol … severely lol … I will be shy… and I just don’t feel like socializing… her family been isolating too so they are safe also but still… I’m good
Awww I was just telling her when I got home, that there was still no toilet paper 🤨 … she said she has some and just now dropped off 4 rolls for us ❤️
She is on her way to her families house now
She’s really happy!! I’m excited for her – hope she has fun!! And yay finally that’s over maybe? 🙏 she was really hurt… she’s very sensitive – I don’t see that often.
You wouldn’t expect her to be soft and sensitive ? She seems so strong… and she is… I just didn’t expect the softness. I like that – she’s really sweet
She wears heart on sleeve… I do too… so huh.
Anyway, gonna enjoy a nice quiet dinner with my daughter and we will chill tonight.
Oh I feel so much better I am done with the whole store thing. I don’t wanna do that again for awhile. I really hate the store even more than I did before 😮😮 I did not think that was possible!!!! Evidentially it is 🤨
Oh yeah and!!! While I’m in the store … they have their music on … guess what song came on? Oh my god! This one…
It’s like following me everywhere!!!!
Once a few months ago… I had to go to the mall… the one I hate lol… ugh… I said to my daughter “when I was young, every time you walked into a mall – Debbie Gibson or Tiffany would play … and she says “who? What?” Lol
We went in and this song was playing immediately and I said “huh guess something’s never change” lol …
Time warp lol
Anyway… that was weird
Alright I have to start dinner ✌️
Alright so today has to be the store! I just can’t push anymore. Dang!! Really not looking forward to this!! 🤨
But ok… gonna suck it up and just do it. I literally have to force myself. You know it’s gonna suck, but you also know you have to 🤨 … I don’t like those choices!!!
Bleh…
Saw my friend briefly this morning…
How do you get mad? Do you have a temper? Do you explode?
I don’t like anger … totally shy away from it … yeah I’ll be over here lol ✌️ I go massive silent and get away from the situation… I am good on the anger aspect!
Sometimes if I watch the news or whatever – I get mad at things lol… just upsets me mostly… so I stay away cause I don’t like that feeling either. Avoidance – it’s a thing ✌️
But anyway… if someone in my life makes me mad… I have 2 methods of operation…
First method lol… I will get snippy lol… really sarcastic lol…
Second method… I just go silent. I’ll deal with when we are both cooled down… will have to be dealt with or I just stay quiet
I bring that up cause my new friend is similar? She is upset with a family member … and she is snippy and sarcastic with the whole thing – it’s funny cause is almost like watching myself in a mirror 😄✌️ … so “that’s” what it’s like? Lol … but I can relate and she’s hurt. I was just noticing how she gets angry. That’s a thing I notice.
I can handle how she does anger, cause I do the same thing. how weird.
I’m just watching her little quirks… I have mine – I just want to see what hers are. So far so good lol ✌️
Last night while I was trying to fall asleep, my daughter is on the phone with her friends 🤨 talking really loud and laughing lol… umm old lady trying to sleep over here lol … I had to go out and tell her to quiet down a little lol … is late!
But she talking loud so… I’m gonna listen 😄✌️ I’m the mom – this is free info lol
So they talking about some stuff I was like “😮🤨 must remember for morning discussions” lol …
She has like this group of 12-15 people … they are all really close… they are a happy bunch, always laughing… boys and girls … I really like her friends – she picked really good ones ❤️ they will be her “lifelong”
Anyway… then they started talking about what high school they gonna go to and planning out the next few years… actually planning it out…
It kinda made me laugh a little because it was cute … she’s aiming and planning… which is good… I just want her to be careful cause plans change.
But for the most part it was adorable!! 🥰 … her and her friends really love and adore each other ❤️
Then I was also thinking – oh boy here comes high school … not this coming year… but she will start high school in 2021. 😮
Oh boy… am I ready? This is my baby AND a girl!!! The boys were really mellow and easy… the girl is little dramatic with things, is sentimental and emotional… also extremely strong willed. 😮
I have never experienced raising a girl through high school before 😳 … I know boys and I remember me 😳😄✌️
I was also strong willed. Oh boy… she’s gonna be like me 😮 … so had that thought lol … oh dear lord!
It’s weird … she’s my baby… my last one ☹️… I tell them to stay little and stay with me, I joke about that all the time … but they grow up anyway. I am proud to watch them become who they are meant to be and how they fly…
But she’s my baby… so I watch her grow up and sound so adult and she’s getting to that age where she just knows everything… I know nothing 😄🤨… she’s so cool, and I am embarrassing lol
I do slightly find the embarrassing part … kind of entertaining lol ✌️
All her friends think I am funny and beautiful… but to her I am her embarrassing mom lol … oh daughters 🙄😄 …
And yes I have called my mom and said “I am sooo sorry” lol ✌️
Alright so… teenage years 😳 ok can’t be that bad – I did two boys already… how hard can a girl be? Lol 😳
I both hate and love that they grow up. I hate to lose them, but I love to watch them grow. Hope I teach her right… I hope she hears my words 🙏❤️
Learning Life 