Nightmares 😮

I had the weirdest nightmare last night 😮😮😮

I don’t usually dream… that I actually remember… but earlier this week my daughter said I was talking in my sleep 😮 – I do know that I do that… because is not first time I have been told that 😮😮 I know I talk in my sleep 😮😮

https://youtu.be/JmGMzyajA2U

So that was weird because I do not remember having any dreams? But whatever

But then last night I had this awful nightmare!!! I’m just gonna tell you the whole thing 😳

I dreamed that I went to someone’s wedding at their house… it was beautiful… I sat next to this man and he touched me just normal – took my arm… and you know that electricity I speak of sometimes – that happened … so I pull away – but then he knew that 😮

And he joked “would be incredible sex huh?” Omg this is a dream this is happening in … but even in the dream … I just pull away because I did not know him – so nope.

https://youtu.be/lVx1s89Zbbo

So I evaded that in the dream.

And then, they had a pool at this house… so I changed into a swimsuit and went in pool. Was just normal… didn’t seem out of ordinary.

Didn’t stay in long… then got dressed again. I was gathering my things to leave… and couldn’t find my phone 📱 😮😮😮

So as I looked around they were closing up the pool and then pressed this button and the water drained and the floor came over and what once was a pool area a moment ago – was then this outdoor living room 😮😮

Was weird – I continued looking for my phone – and started feeling that panic as if you REALLY lost your phone 😮😮😮

Because Omg my world is literally on my phone 😮😮😮 holy moly! I do not know anyones number because I just hold a button and say “call blah blah blah” and it calls them … and work is always texting or calling…

All my music, photos and things are on my phone, I DO live by the phone 📱😮😮😮

So I felt panic setting in… I kept finding phones but not MY phone 📱

Then I found my phone… but the screen was all cracked ☹️ completely cracked … it still turned on though… I was pretty ok through all that…

But when I turned it on – it had opened Facebook 😮😮😮😮 and I tried to close it and stop that, but wouldn’t let me – I couldn’t do anything else just made me stay in Facebook … I tried everything to close it, and because screen was cracked it just made my fingers bleed if I tried

And then THAT was the terror that woke me up 😮 my heart was beating soooo fast and this horrible terror feeling when I woke up 😮😮

Worse than when I thought phone was lost!! 😮

https://youtu.be/4NmX5vcNK6E

So I woke up all panicked and in terror just from that!! 😮😮 oh thank god I woke up!!

I immediately grabbed my phone to see if was ok… whew 😥 everything was normal ❤️

https://youtu.be/LWGJA9i18Co

That was really weird – I do not like waking with that awful feeling … and then takes my heart a little while to chill out 🤨

Was just a dream – whew!! 😥

And not that this would be connected or anything… but yesterday some of my coworkers were talking to me about dating because it keeps being a “thing” … I keep having to say no … and one said you should try online… 😮

My immediate reaction was to make a face, because I just don’t like that. I feel totally blind like that 😮

And one said… well the ones who have the confidence to approach you are probably narcissists, the ones online have been hurt and are on their couch and just looking for that companion 😮

I never viewed it that way before ?? Huh – interesting perspective? That was a man who said that to me 😮😮😮 he said he met his wife online… some dating site where women make the first move lol … hmm it’s just weird to me – not like the old days – but I suppose this is not the way used to be… I am still in 1985 lol 😘✌️

https://youtu.be/K38xNqZvBJI

It’s not that I’m looking to date… because ya know- that’s gonna be ??? I don’t even know – I don’t mind 1985 ❤️

When I seriously think about that – it freaks me out a little … but I have probably made it into this huge thing all by myself

But emotions and stuff are tied to that, and I’ve built up alot… and I was 17 before – I am not 17 anymore 😮

Well anyway – I am going to dinner tonight 😮😮 remember that man who didn’t notice or care about the mastectomy? I’m finally going to dinner with him – I’m not really sure this is ok 😳

But ok – I will try. We see – he gets one chance because of the way he made me feel back then when I was sooo devastated, so we see. That is the only reason I am giving a chance. Otherwise I would have said no, just because.

It’s just dinner – so should be fine. 😳 I’m sure it will be fine – not a big deal. Just dinner

I am just weird cause ya know… is weird

It’s because I think too much… which I feel I have to – because never again do I want to give ANY Satan, ANY time – and then it’s too emotionally driven to me … to let go easy

And I’m just different anyway. I am not very comfortable with how things are today.

And then- he hasn’t seen me at all since I had cancer and that one day all those years ago (which seems like yesterday) so I dunno

I’m just protective if gonna come close 😮 that makes me nervous – I want to see who are

So dinner I suppose is fine. That is what normal people do lol

Ready to ride? 😮😳 I don’t know – I really don’t know.

https://youtu.be/Ejdx6_hYTiY

Don’t fuck it up buddy lol 💋✌️ no pressure 😄😄✌️ but don’t fuck it up lol – know who you deal with 😉

Hopefully no more nightmares either lol ✌️🙏

I will let you know what happens 😮✌️

11 thoughts on “Nightmares 😮

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  1. Hmmm… loss of control and/or all the men who hunt you?
    I hope dinner goes well!

    I had a good dream… all I recall is “ice cream” that was more like a combo of cotton candy and… really chewy caramel or something. Like something in an asian cartoon… I held a big blob of it like a baby. I’d tear off pieces to eat and they’d instantly replace themselves. It was nice!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We didn’t end up doing dinner cause we both were running late, it would have been too rushed … so instead we went to Old Sac and had lunch and were sight seeing today ❤️ just got home

      Lol sounds like a delicious dream 🙌❤️

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    1. Hahaha lol… yeah was really strange dream!!

      The biggest thing that sticks out is how much the Facebook thing freaked me out like that. The rest I don’t care about lol

      I just can’t do that social media stuff – I do not like at all 😝

      I miss it somewhat because I have my people, my photos and my memories … but then I have bad photos and bad memories there too – and I can’t with those … brings up my fathers death and the cancer and everything else – it will say “hey remember this” 🤨 I do not like that and also it was too heavy for me … I like things less harsh.

      I don’t wanna see perfect lives or people fighting over things whatever … I also don’t like it showing me what IT thinks I wanna see. I don’t like that at all

      I feel it’s bad so I don’t want it

      So yeah I just stay away… I keep my people there but just stay away. I keep them in peace ✌️

      I would rather 1985 😘✌️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can understand that and, hey, it is meant to be there for your benefit and not to bring you down, even a little!
        Ha, alive in ’85! That was the summer of Walking on Sunshine and Live Aid! Seems ages ago now but also not haha! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeah – true I know

        It never brought me down. It’s just not my thing – I prefer the silence from social media for safety, and also I just don’t like so much control over what I see or think

        I like the silence from it because I can think how I want – is peaceful ❤️

        I fell in love with peace so… that never felt like peace to me.

        So whatever

        I still like 1985 better lol – i like the pre technology life? Except the cell phone 🤨 but whatever – I have to have the phone – I have kids

        And then it’s entertaining and my life is on it. So the phone is exception lol and so is this… I just like it here. ❤️

        Lol – my music is now oldies 😄😄🤨

        Even the 90’s and 2000’s seem like just yesterday but aren’t 😮😮

        You blink – so ya know, enjoy moments and things while you have them ✌️

        I was 13 in 1985 😄 omg … thank GOD there was not cell phones in 1985!!! Lol

        Just because my style choices are 😳 not the best … and the hair omg 🤦‍♀️ I not gonna even tell you lol

        Yeah – I miss 1985 ❤️ I just miss the peace and stuff of you know… simple, also people interact better

        Then technology so … yeah … so glad none of that around in ‘85 🤘 lol

        Was just a simpler time – whatever – I got old, what can I say?

        It was just a little “free’er” back then?
        To have life?

        I miss that freedom – because I know it 😮😮😮 lol ❤️

        So whatever …I state my case ✌️😘

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Lol yeah ❤️ those were the days 🙌

        Was fun time – but whatever – is also fun time now ❤️

        Just the world is crazy lol

        I do kinda miss being a kid and having my parents lol – that’s the other thing

        I would love to go Back to the Future lol … that was 1985 right? Lol – my favorite trilogy ❤️

        When I was 15 – that was my rebel age lol

        Omg – I met another girl who was my tnt 🧨 … together we were just trouble lol ❤️ she was awesome! Lol we just laughed all the time … apart we just normal lol … together we were alive – she was just awesome

        My first life lesson but we won’t go there lol 😘✌️

        15 I drag raced lol – got in trouble too – omg lol

        It lasted one year lol

        My parents were really strict and I tasted life for a minute lol 🤫 got it out of system as a minor lol 😄✌️

        Very lame compared to todays kids – but really fun and incredible moments

        I’m not sure I would make same choices though – when I look back I did learn lessons lol

        Do not drag race lol kidding – I learned some good, bad and deep lessons from many things

        Funny to remember those memories though 😮 wow… a lifetime ago 😮 crazy!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yeah underage without license lol … I do like going fast and of course winning lol

        Was sheltered so was little adrenaline rush

        My parents did not think was cool 😮😉

        I was a perfect little Catholic girl before that – then tasted life for minute lol … they lost control for a year lol

        It was really fun though!! I was fast lol 😘✌️… also fearless … lol just to feel life ya know?

        Believe it or not – I do have little bit of fearlessness here and there 😮😉✌️ you just have to spark it lol – I am smarter with it now though lol

        I do still like speed lol 🤫… hence my dreams of that German highway 🛣✌️😄

        Liked by 1 person

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