Nightmares 😮

I had the weirdest nightmare last night 😮😮😮

I don’t usually dream… that I actually remember… but earlier this week my daughter said I was talking in my sleep 😮 – I do know that I do that… because is not first time I have been told that 😮😮 I know I talk in my sleep 😮😮

https://youtu.be/JmGMzyajA2U

So that was weird because I do not remember having any dreams? But whatever

But then last night I had this awful nightmare!!! I’m just gonna tell you the whole thing 😳

I dreamed that I went to someone’s wedding at their house… it was beautiful… I sat next to this man and he touched me just normal – took my arm… and you know that electricity I speak of sometimes – that happened … so I pull away – but then he knew that 😮

And he joked “would be incredible sex huh?” Omg this is a dream this is happening in … but even in the dream … I just pull away because I did not know him – so nope.

https://youtu.be/lVx1s89Zbbo

So I evaded that in the dream.

And then, they had a pool at this house… so I changed into a swimsuit and went in pool. Was just normal… didn’t seem out of ordinary.

Didn’t stay in long… then got dressed again. I was gathering my things to leave… and couldn’t find my phone 📱 😮😮😮

So as I looked around they were closing up the pool and then pressed this button and the water drained and the floor came over and what once was a pool area a moment ago – was then this outdoor living room 😮😮

Was weird – I continued looking for my phone – and started feeling that panic as if you REALLY lost your phone 😮😮😮

Because Omg my world is literally on my phone 😮😮😮 holy moly! I do not know anyones number because I just hold a button and say “call blah blah blah” and it calls them … and work is always texting or calling…

All my music, photos and things are on my phone, I DO live by the phone 📱😮😮😮

So I felt panic setting in… I kept finding phones but not MY phone 📱

Then I found my phone… but the screen was all cracked ☹️ completely cracked … it still turned on though… I was pretty ok through all that…

But when I turned it on – it had opened Facebook 😮😮😮😮 and I tried to close it and stop that, but wouldn’t let me – I couldn’t do anything else just made me stay in Facebook … I tried everything to close it, and because screen was cracked it just made my fingers bleed if I tried

And then THAT was the terror that woke me up 😮 my heart was beating soooo fast and this horrible terror feeling when I woke up 😮😮

Worse than when I thought phone was lost!! 😮

https://youtu.be/4NmX5vcNK6E

So I woke up all panicked and in terror just from that!! 😮😮 oh thank god I woke up!!

I immediately grabbed my phone to see if was ok… whew 😥 everything was normal ❤️

https://youtu.be/LWGJA9i18Co

That was really weird – I do not like waking with that awful feeling … and then takes my heart a little while to chill out 🤨

Was just a dream – whew!! 😥

And not that this would be connected or anything… but yesterday some of my coworkers were talking to me about dating because it keeps being a “thing” … I keep having to say no … and one said you should try online… 😮

My immediate reaction was to make a face, because I just don’t like that. I feel totally blind like that 😮

And one said… well the ones who have the confidence to approach you are probably narcissists, the ones online have been hurt and are on their couch and just looking for that companion 😮

I never viewed it that way before ?? Huh – interesting perspective? That was a man who said that to me 😮😮😮 he said he met his wife online… some dating site where women make the first move lol … hmm it’s just weird to me – not like the old days – but I suppose this is not the way used to be… I am still in 1985 lol 😘✌️

https://youtu.be/K38xNqZvBJI

It’s not that I’m looking to date… because ya know- that’s gonna be ??? I don’t even know – I don’t mind 1985 ❤️

When I seriously think about that – it freaks me out a little … but I have probably made it into this huge thing all by myself

But emotions and stuff are tied to that, and I’ve built up alot… and I was 17 before – I am not 17 anymore 😮

Well anyway – I am going to dinner tonight 😮😮 remember that man who didn’t notice or care about the mastectomy? I’m finally going to dinner with him – I’m not really sure this is ok 😳

But ok – I will try. We see – he gets one chance because of the way he made me feel back then when I was sooo devastated, so we see. That is the only reason I am giving a chance. Otherwise I would have said no, just because.

It’s just dinner – so should be fine. 😳 I’m sure it will be fine – not a big deal. Just dinner

I am just weird cause ya know… is weird

It’s because I think too much… which I feel I have to – because never again do I want to give ANY Satan, ANY time – and then it’s too emotionally driven to me … to let go easy

And I’m just different anyway. I am not very comfortable with how things are today.

And then- he hasn’t seen me at all since I had cancer and that one day all those years ago (which seems like yesterday) so I dunno

I’m just protective if gonna come close 😮 that makes me nervous – I want to see who are

So dinner I suppose is fine. That is what normal people do lol

Ready to ride? 😮😳 I don’t know – I really don’t know.

https://youtu.be/Ejdx6_hYTiY

Don’t fuck it up buddy lol 💋✌️ no pressure 😄😄✌️ but don’t fuck it up lol – know who you deal with 😉

Hopefully no more nightmares either lol ✌️🙏

I will let you know what happens 😮✌️