Life forces 🤨

Sometimes life does not like the way you handle things, so it will push you lol

Life is pushing me 🤨

First with work cause that’s all crazy currently 🤨 so who knows what’s coming with that 😮😮

I love the job… it has given me peace and let me hide away ❤️ it helped me through covid and come to terms with the deaths I already experience – it removed the fear of death for me. ❤️✌️

So I don’t know what will happen there – it’s almost like life is pushing me to actually have a life and I don’t want that lol … I like being hidden away ✌️ I like my peace and silence

I have felt protected – so we see 😳

And then … with CB … I literally just stopped that whole thing because no!!

And then today … I had to do a work errand really early this morning… so I just ran all my errands today instead of tmrw – I thought it would be fine.

There is a reason I do Sunday night – because no one is out on Sunday nights so is nice and peaceful and no one sees me lol 🙌❤️

Sometimes I forget my reasoning… and then remember when things happen lol

I ran all my errands and went to stop at the post office …

Someone says “HeY” after I walked by … but I do not turn around for “Hey” because guys do that constantly and no!!! So I ignore and keep walking

But then I hear “Trish” 😮😳 ok that makes me turn around lol

It was that police officer I am friends with who used to ask me out all the time before covid. 😮😮

He is really sweet! I was just not expecting to see anyone and he caught me by surprise 😮

I hugged him though 😊🥰 was good to see him – his humor matches mine so I miss the funniness

But I am cautious with him and don’t think much about it…

He likes women lol (duh but alot) …so that’s a thing for me – I just don’t want playboy, so not sure where he is with that 🤷‍♀️

And he has a sexual tension energy?? You know 50 shades of gray 😳😮

Yeah he’s like that kinda 😮 and I am just kinda quiet lol … so high caution on that one

But I find it funny – because it is like life or god is totally laughing and having a great time putting me in situations recently 🤨🙄

See!!! It’s pushing

I’m just trying to be all quiet and unnoticed lol … I fail miserably at that!! Really bad!!!

I was liking my little peaceful world bubble ❤️ it’s been nice ❤️

I am safe ✌️

Now life trying to make me come back to life lol

I stopped my life with the cancer and haven’t really come back since because of the abuse … I just feel better when safe ✌️

I know it’s not normal. I am aware of it. Whatever, it’s been a great bubble ❤️ I have loved the peace? I love it very much!

And life trying to throw me back into life lol

It allowed me to go silent – and it gave me moment to breathe when covid hit (❤️) covid allowed me to survive because of it. And … it’s given me a safe bubble to be in ❤️…

It has allowed me to shut down and come to terms, grow stronger and make my life.

Now all of the sudden 😳😮… it’s throwing things at me for change decisions 🤨 😮 it does not wanna keep waiting for me to be ready … but what if I don’t want to?

Ugh 🤦‍♀️ I hate life lessons!!!! I hate when it does these things

I really love peace – so I do not like when life …tries to make me live it lol ✌️

It’s been a long time since ?? I don’t know? Wasn’t silent?

In business – I am fine – operate completely normal… social no problems … organized and handle – perfectionist with details ✌️ I am confident with work.

At home – organized and clean – always smells nice because I love coming home and having my home smell amazing ❤️ it smells like home ❤️❤️❤️❤️

But on my own time out in public or socially – I am in complete silence. I am polite but more soft spoken and quiet

I just keep to self. I don’t do social media – except this, I stay away from news mostly – but sometimes getting ready for work,I will have the news on – and then remember why I do not watch the news ✌️ lol

Whatever just sharing

But life trying to push me forward 🤨 ooohhh

So much things, omg whew! Also moving eventually

It’s not like I can take my time and just handle one thing at a time … no it’s throwing everything at me all at the same time!!

Stop! I like to ease into things lol … easy… slow. I will jump if I feel I can easily get a grip. If I believe in it. But usually I am not a jumper … 🤔 am I?

I do not think so?

I am just cautious. With everything so. I’m pretty sure life wants me to not be slow and start living life again 🤨

I just have to figure out how this is going to go.

Also if I get more money or larger position ? It could hurt me with buying the home 😮

I know to keep my distance with other things. 😉 I am skilled keeping distance ✌️

Oh and yesterday neighbor guy sees me coming home from work and pretends to leisurely walk over … and make small chat 🤨… hey there trisha how is work going? You been working a lot.

Ok I do not want to tell this man any tiny thing!! He will blab it everywhere – so no!! Seriously the tiniest thing and he will act like he has the inside scoop and knows all about you 🤨 ok no!!!

Definitely silent with this man.

And then he ask me if my landlord raised MY rent because of electric (they use absurd amounts of energy… I don’t)

She didn’t – but I’m not telling him nothing. I just said oh I don’t know I haven’t checked my mail… I know nothing.

But still he stands there and starts telling me about ??? I do not even know? Kilowatts? Blah blah blah blah … ok well I hear what he says but what do you want me to do?

And you should also know that he comes over to my house like that NOT wearing a shirt! 🤨

Ok ya know… this is why I avoid

So it just seems like everything coming at me all at once.

I am used to having change… but I just like where I find peace and feel safe, and I want to keep that.

In business I’m pretty strong. I can do change … but where is that gonna put me? It’s certainly not gonna lock me away anymore if I leave 😮 … if I stay will it be ok?

So I just have to figure that one out.

And life will just not leave me alone personally! It just keeps coming always – it does not let up!!

Even when I hide away 😮

Anyway… just saying – life is being pushy currently.

Ok well we lost track of time earlier with video games lol 😮❤️

Oh and I have the app for the blog on the tablet … I don’t use it on the tablet because I find it clunky – I am slow with it – where I am faster on the phone. Easier and smoother!!

Anyway – the app is on this tablet that is not  apple… the iOS is clunky to me. So I don’t wanna bother looking for how to fix something or taking the time to do that lol – whatever

But because the WordPress app is on there… it evidentially does notifications lol … I didn’t know that because I must have that off on my phone – it doesn’t do that – I get notifications but not crazy lol

So my daughter was here in the house and the tablet was going off alot lol …

I’ve been hearing it for about a week … I don’t know what the tablet does … whatever – it dings for some reason lol

And when I came in she asked me about the tablet noise – at the time she asked – I was not aware was because of the blog lol

It was only after a succession of dings that she groaned and then I see the blog and knew lol ahhhhh mystery solved

It was funny though ❤️

Ok Gnite 😘✌️❤️