Oh lots of things again 😑

Ok so Monday! Whew! Whatever. It’s was just really constant busy. That’s hard!

Nothing new, half full board… but I have several imminent’s

Sometimes, the family will call us PRIOR to a death… if they know it is coming.. and they know they want to use us, or they have a preneed with us, they will sometimes call ahead of time, so that we can expect it.

That way …I can alert my team and the oncall to possibly expect that call. just incase overnight. ✌️

Plus we can take information prior to the death, so that when the death occurs – we can be right on it. ✌️

And when you suffering a loss and grieving … the last thing you want to do it think of information. So sometimes they call ahead of time, so we ready to go when it does happen.

So I have a few of those.

Anyway… work was busy busy busy and I have services services services … and end of month and people going on vaca… just so much

Oh and then they have someone in mind for the office manager job at the other location. 😳

It’s my part timer… ok…

They tell me… show her the position and then tell us your recommendation.

I will show her but I can not give my recommendation 😮

I am all for being supportive – but I will be honest also.

First of all… she is not driven enough… the job would swallow her… not to mention the funeral home she would be at… and the director she would work with 😮 he would eat her alive!! 😮

He expects you to be on it always … she will know nothing and then that will fall on my shoulders – and I don’t mind helping but I am still wobbly myself!!!

And then if that be my recommendation that be on my head …

I honestly do not think that is the funeral home job for her.

If it was the smaller one maybe … but this is the biggest and most beautiful and serves the Land Park area

She has to actually work… because that’s another thing… it is not easy and corporate is tough – she’s not gonna know anything and I’m still learning myself!!

I can’t depend on her either – I can’t trust that she won’t call out 😷 or come in and then be sick or have something where she has to leave. It makes me nervous if she going to work or not… I have to be ready to find coverage or deal.

You can not do that!! She can NOT be calling out with that position!! I don’t trust it. And I don’t need to be doing someone else’s work.

So. Like I said, I will show her – but it is not easy and she will have to be on it with that location – I think it would eat her alive

If you want a position like that then you MUST be dependable! I can not trust she is.

I do not want it to crash and burn… it could be massive problems and I don’t want it dumped on my shoulders or my name.

She hasn’t proven to me that she could do the job or that she would be a strong team player.

So whatever – if they gonna ask my opinion – I’m gonna tell em

It sucks because I want to be supportive of another woman who is in same position I was… but again I can’t trust she will not be sick or have some problem…

And then she doesn’t do some of the things I ask her to. Which I have to speak to her about.

I shouldn’t have to keep saying and I should be able to count on my staff/team … I can’t hand that over to a top notch funeral home 😮 …he would have my head! Oh that would be awful

So whatever. I don’t think she could handle.

I like her as a person – but as a part timer – she has not been on it … how am I gonna recommend her for this massive position 😮 oh boy!!

Yeah no

I want to know …how much you want it… show me what I’m workin with ✌️

I wanna see how hungry you are … when I say jump you say how high – I did it. We all do…

And you HAVE to be devoted and strong with the team!! I don’t know that she is – she won’t survive at that location if she is not.

I just don’t believe it is a good move.

I can’t need to count on her and have her calling out!! Or not trust if things be done.

You need those things!!

I do not want a huge mess on my shoulders! I say no. I think that be problems.

So they can either listen to me or not… whatever …

They know I say honestly and they know my work ethic.

That location needs a strong dependable manager. I can not say that is her. 😔

Anyway whatever

And then what else … oh I have not heard from CB… but that’s alright … I figure… it took me some time to think it over …

Because I thought … am I ok if he leaves my life? Am I ok with that?

Well he’s not really in my life to begin with?? He is or was … on text mostly… because I am busy and he is busy.

But I felt like… without emotions – then what is the point of having in life?

And I am definitely not allowing someone without emotions to come close…

I do believe that is a dealbreaker

So… if he wants that – I am not the one.

And even as a friend now, I feel weird and guarded – silent ✌️

I used to text funny things – but I haven’t …

I will go to do that… but then I stop, then just don’t. I have been silent … until yesterday

I had to think if it be ok, if he were gone…

Since he is not a huge part of my life… and he does not want emotions … and I handle my own life…

Then what’s he there for?

I am fine with it… I am not willing to do no emotions ✌️😘

I am emotions… and I work in emotions so… yeah… that’s a dealbreaker ✌️

If he retracts … well I haven’t thought that far lol ✌️… I only thought about loss 😮😮😮

But whatever – we see.

I think he will walk away – that’s what I think anyway? But I think he will.

I have a girlfriend that dates ALOT… and then tells me all about it – whether I want to hear or not lol

I usually do not lol … but I listen – whatever

Anyway… she said she broke up with one and started dating another immediately after 😮

And the one she broke up with got mad at her … but HER reply to him was “well I’m not gonna be alone” 😮😮😮

Omg

Well whatever

But I tell you that because – I am not afraid to be alone (mostly – don’t ask me when I hear wild animals outside or if there is a big giant spider!)

I don’t need a man to complete me… and if he doesn’t care or doesn’t want to be there – then don’t ✌️

I’m not going to just accept whatever so … whoop there it is…

I just can’t so… That’s a bottom line. I’m very easy going but I can’t do that one thing. Or actually … I am not willing

So he can take some time and think about what he would like his decision to be.

I just don’t want that close to me, in my life – I just can’t. If he chooses that… I can’t keep him.

I don’t want to be guarded and that makes me guarded. ✌️

So… yeah. He can take his time

Or not worry about it at all – whatever

I would rather be done than carry forward like that – I just can’t. That would not be healthy for me.

Definitely dealbreaker.

So… that is my thinking on that ✌️

Ugh 😑 Monday