So… CB… hmm 🤔
I’ve known him for many years… 7 years.
He’s very sweet, thoughtful and kind to me. He has always been that way with me.
He has always had a level of caution with me though – I just notice because of how careful he is with me. I am same way with him.
I think we are both careful because neither one wants to get hurt like what had been done to each of us … so we just cautious with each other
And he’s respectful and caring too… he was in my life before my dad passed – before everything 😮 before my cancer – everything…
He would give me small escapes from those heavy things ❤️ … take me to baseball games … or teach me something I didn’t know, or help me get over something that I feared ❤️ he’s pretty amazing because of that.
He is or was… careful with me on a few sides though …
First because I am a woman … he has a past where 2 women really devastated him so … he is/was careful with me . Totally get that!!!
That is the same way I am, because of Satan so … I understand that
So whatever… I just enjoy time when I get to see him… we are both cautious … he’s very caring and really sweet – he never lets me pay for anything food, gas whatever … he is macho man with that lol ❤️
And I constantly tell him what I want so he is aware… and I want to do that, because I need him to leave me alone if he can’t handle it. But he never does. He actually seems to be coming in closer 😮 ???
And one time – the first time I laid it out for him – exactly what I wanted … it did not match his
Ok well …no matter how much I like you, if that doesn’t match… I’m out ✌️ because what’s the point if you have different things you want ?
So I went to walk away and he didn’t let that happen 😮 he totally did not let that happen 😮😮
And then he went kinda slow and cautious …but amp’ed up his communication with me 😮
I had never went to walk away before – I just don’t want to have meaningless crap – and if we can’t match then there is no point.
I just was kinda silent and going about my own things … then he started texting me in the mornings…
Randomly saying sweet things during the day 😮
… and I just noticed him kinda being more umm?? Putting in “EFFORT” (notice I put that in bold lol ) …like he didn’t wanna lose me 😮
He told me he wanted to try to see me this weekend lol … when he say that now – I just think “yeah ok, whatever” lol
Because 🤷♀️… yeah … ok … whatever
I knew wouldn’t happen.
But I also know what he’s doing, so I’m not bothered by that … only that he keeps saying “I wanna see you” lol …stop saying that!!! Show me your actions then lol …
Let me clue you in…
I can say words all day, but unless I do what I say I will… they are “just words” so 🤷♀️ yeah ok whatever
I’m fine if you just don’t say it… if you continue to say it and not do it – then I don’t even listen to those words anymore 😮😮😮
To avoid that, one must actually “back it up” ✌️😘 … or don’t say lol
I just want sincere!
Anyway… he told me he would try today lol … I already knew he wouldn’t. I don’t say anything – but in my mind I just think “yeah ok whatever”… because I don’t see him. He says it – but he doesn’t have to. Wait until you can, before you say!!
The words are empty. I know he’s busy… I am fine with that – and I believe him – I know what his life is.
I still hold caution – slight caution.
I usually just say – “ok sounds good” lol
It’s not a huge deal… and whatever … but empty words bother me. Because for a lot of years I took empty words so… it’s just a thing. Careful there.
You may think that’s hard – but let me say this.. I put effort into people close in my life … so I will not give you empty words and I don’t really want to accept them – so that is why it bothers me for him to say and then not do. Don’t say, if you can not do. Sometimes that happens … I understand that… but don’t always say it and never do it – just wait!! Lol
I know he means well with his empty words lol ✌️❤️😘 …
I don’t think he looks at the words like I do? Lol
This is why I am careful with him… we are similar with things and understand each other’s things … BUT …
Hmm?? I do not know if we see or think same? I don’t know?
And then all of the sudden, he’s actually making effort with the communication 😮 … he’s “trying” 😮❤️
He is about hour away… but moving to further place – maybe 2 hours away? That won’t be for awhile though
But that’s also a thing.
I do believe him to be sincere with me… and probably even here with what he says…
I think he wants to… so he just says that… not really “thinking” lol …
It doesn’t really matter one way or the other but if keep saying and then don’t do … I stop listening 😮😮😮😱 is like boy who cried wolf ?? To my ears ? I hear that … but never happens so whatever ✌️😄
Loss of credibility with words ✌️😘 careful
Lol … he is free to do his thing – I know he is busy – he does not have to try to promise me anything – so… am just fine not seeing – of course I would love to see him, but I just know how busy I am… I know he busy too
I am just saying he doesn’t have to say that, for me to know he wants that. I know lol … he tells me a lot lol – I find a little humorous more and more lol
I just let him say it 😄😄… “I want to see you”
Ohhh that would be awesome
But I just know full well that it is not happening lol … and it’s funny because I know he is busy – I know what he does
When it’s meant to be… and it just all lines up ❤️ it be fine … he doesn’t have to say … I like his effort with the communication – that is effort also … I appreciate that ❤️ I like that a lot.
Anyway… one of these days he will show up and I’m going to be like 😱😱😱 lol
I am not totally huge on being caught off guard lol ✌️😘 he is the type that I could totally see surprising me or something lol – which for him is fine. He is not all flashy… he is understatedly awesome and unique – peacefully and quietly ❤️✌️ he has a peaceful aura too … his demeanor with me is so peaceful – I like that 😊
I don’t mind time – but I also work at a funeral home, AS WELL AS, survived covid lol ✌️ (so far) – so I don’t mind time… but I am also aware of it. ✌️
I just want things that are actually meant to be, so we see
I want to be very careful
Because I need to watch that with him for sure if he gonna turn it up 😮 careful 😮 … careful what you aim at lol 😘✌️
With distance and stuff – I never have to worry or really think about anything 😮
Is very easy 🙌 and also peaceful ❤️ lol …
I like him and could totally fall for him … I do feel a fire with him ❤️🔥 and oddly I do trust him 😮😮😮 …I know!! I must have gone insane 😮 lol… I’m kidding – he’s a good guy – you better believe I only let someone who is “good of heart”, near me this close 😮 so I do think that about him.
What if I did fall for him and then he is far – I can’t leave my area …So I really like him – but again … I’m all about what is meant to be so 🤷♀️
So I just be very cautious and careful
We see 😳😮
Just stop saying you gonna come see me, when you don’t lol … wait until it’s really actually possible …and THEN say that lol
Otherwise takes the meaning away – understand?? Then I don’t believe the words ✌️ careful with that
Suddenly, it feels like he more at ease with me than ever 😮
… careful with that too lol … I should have a caution ⚠️ sign lol … he will enter the danger zone… so he better know exactly what he wants if he gonna attempt! 😮
Yeah be careful 😳😮😮