Endings & Beginnings 😮

Ok. So Thursday.

Today… they not only removed that class for me- but gave me a good raise 😮❤️❤️❤️ they said we want to pay you what you worth. 😮❤️❤️❤️ whoa 😮 I almost cried, I could not speak. It took everything I had not to cry lol … I half laughed and half cried???

I did not see that coming 😮 ❤️

And then – we got that family ❤️ they gonna let us help them…

We did have to take an unusual route… blocked our number and they answered!! ❤️

So we explained and we gonna help them ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

So I had a really good emotional day!! It made me wanna cry with relief all over the place.

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I don’t even know what else to say about Today!!

I am on call tonight – so remember – no dying!!! 🙏 just take Thursday’s off the “die” list… you are not allowed to die on Thursdays lol – oh I wish it was that easy to lay that down ❤️🙏 … but that’s what I wish for… I wish for no death – but it is my business

See how weird that is?? That IS the business… but you don’t really want business – but you have to have business 😮

Just don’t do it on Thursdays!! I just have to say that and put that out there… so I guess every Thursday I am going to be saying that. Because I worry all night that someone will die!! Bleh

Well anyway – has been an amazing Thursday ❤️

I don’t know what else to say on it… I got the family… and we gonna help them… (my heart still goes out to them!) … and then work surprised me?? 😮 I was completely taken by surprise today with what they did. So … they make me wanna cry but not badly. Just? I don’t know? In good way.

Am very girly 😘✌️

It is POURING BUCKETS 🪣 right now 😮😮😮 I even made it home before that Down-poured!!! How’s that for a pretty awesome Thursday??!

I walked in the door, and 5 minutes later down pour 😮

So today my angel did their job lol ❤️😘 (I’m kidding – but something took my hand all day?)

It’s just pouring – it sounds like rapids outside omg 😮

Just crazy ☔️ rain!!! Row row row your boat weather!!! It’s just beating down!!

Oh thank you for letting me get home before unleashing that!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Tmrw I meet with lawyer in afternoon – I feel comfort for the lawyer … because for the first time ever I feel protected in any way or helped. So I trust them. I just give up and trust them. So we see.

I still feel panic though – because I do not trust the government and I do not trust the courts – so there ya go 😘✌️

I have reasons. Massive reasons. So we gonna see, I just don’t trust. It makes me feel sheer panic. All of it. It is overwhelming panic. So – I have to keep remembering how to breathe through it. Anyway- almost done – I can’t wait!! ❤️

So… anyway… finally… I be free ❤️ sorta 🤨 but mostlyish- as far as I’m concerned✌️ …and done.

So… let me just step back and review…

I got away from abuse ❤️❤️❤️

I beat cancer ❤️❤️❤️

I fuckin survived ❤️❤️❤️

And now? Well I am almost here:

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Yeah I’m almost there ❤️❤️❤️❤️ almost ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏

I just have a little more to get through…

1.) I get through this divorce ❤️🙌❤️ omg ❤️❤️❤️❤️ and I will have my Irish name back ❤️

I was gonna say screw the name because it is going to be a hassle – but I don’t care – I want his name off me!!!!! 😝😝😝 – I never want to think of him again!! So there is that.

I get through that… then…

2.) my mom 💔❤️ ok well … work will help me there too… I get a discount because is family ❤️❤️❤️ we already picked one of my funeral homes and we ready. 😢💔 sorta of… we know what funeral home – but we not ready to lose her. 😩😢

She should be with my dad – she misses him and what’s her life now? I can’t see her… she is by herself locked away and ya know? I can’t even have her while she is here 💔 only phone and photos

So I guess I am ok if she goes be with my dad – like I have any say in that … but I will never have her back… and that time is over – is ending

My entire life ending for a minute- because new is shining

So ok. I can’t let her go – but no matter how much I prepare that loss will rock me… so I am scared of it

If there is one supreme loss that you have ever known… she is mine. So. That will be hard. No matter what.

My hands are tied – I have to just accept it when it goes down. She will have peace and be with him. Bleh – I still want her but only because I love her!!! She … I don’t know how to finish that? If I do, I will cry so moving on…

Ok so finish divorce, lose my mom (oh that sounds so horrible 💔💔💔)

Ok keep going …

Once I get through the tail end of all the bad things …

Then … I am already growing myself… look where I placed myself ❤️

And with such massive change

I am not going to recognize my life soon 😮 and I got to stay strong and I get to rise – I am still rising … because …

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So yes see … sometimes cocky lol – but I work at that!!! Very hard!!!! So yes – I am a firework 💋✌️

Anyway… my family era is ending 😮

… so what do I want next? 🤔

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I love the Beastie Boys… I miss them …

When my kids ask me for things … I wiggle and sing that song lol ❤️❤️❤️ I love doing that!!! – them not so much lol 😄✌️

Alright well… good night Thursday ❤️ ({{no dying!!!}})

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