Ya’ll ready for this? 😮


Holy moly!! When my life goes crazy – IT REALLY goes crazy!!

Alright… so let me start you out slow… then I’ll speed you up… the same way it hits me…

So ya know… since February – I’ve been with death… death has kinda wrapped around me?

I didn’t expect that… I had the school – I took on death so I could survive and death allowed that. And I have been able to survive because of death.

Death also has helped me come to terms with things – and has allowed me to process my losses finally – mainly because I was seeing from the emotional heartfelt aspect… but as a job – I see behind the scenes, and it removes that fear and umm intimidation. Death does not intimidate me anymore – so far

I will still lose my mother… I am afraid of that cause I feel her in my heart… but Alzheimer’s has given me mercy in a way?

The other losses were just sudden and swift… Alzheimer’s takes her away slowly… while it hurts still… her mind is leaving me already… soon will only be her body… and I will have no choice but to let go – I think I will be happy that she will be with my father and they will have peace again. No more worries. I don’t care what really happens after death – that’s what I want to imagine.

My heart is selfish so I will miss not having her… but I have been given time to let her go and time to say goodbye. 😢💔

So ya know… death kinda has helped me come to terms.

And death took my hand when I needed it. It was there. It has given me comfort in relating and strength to process.

I have worked really hard. Gave my all. It’s all been really hard.

Alright so… they offer me the office assistant job but is still part time – no benefits and not full time.

I spoke to my manager – I don’t remember which day?? My days are blending, cause I’ve been so busy. There is a lot of death currently. It’s been nuts!

I also love my funeral people VERY VERY much!!! They are hilarious and awesome!! Supportive and empathetic – I fit there ❤️

I told her… I am going to NEED full time and benefits – I love the promotion and appreciate very much – but I will need to work towards full time and benefits. I wanted her to know where everything stands – I communicate a lot so there are no surprises and no stress.

She understood the direction I am aiming and said she see what she can do – it is a corporation. Corporations can be stingy.

So whatever a had that convo.

But I have court coming Friday to set trial date – while I am ready for that… I am also nervous. I am still at his mercy and he’s horrific. I call him Satan – you have heard this.

Anyway… so I just prepare for things… I brace… but I prepare…

Just like I took the whole year preparing to lose power… I am protecting myself. You want to have the mind set that no one is going to do that for you… you do that for yourself. There is no knight in shining armor. You do it… you be the knight!

So I try… and I prepare.

I need to make sure no matter how goes – I land on my feet. Satan thought he could crush me? Yeah I will show him otherwise. Bring it bitch!

He lost a diamond 💎 sorry about his luck. He did that to himself / that’s why he’s vengeful … he wants to make sure I can not do any better without him… and I suffer for leaving his sorry ass.

So I have been preparing for battle against that too…

I revamped my resume, and I’ve been looking through all the jobs and I apply here and there with things I can do.

I have that bad side due to the breast cancer and nerve damage… so that takes certain jobs off the table completely – I can’t lift things well at all. Small things that aren’t too heavy – yes… but if it’s heavy at all… I can’t lift it. It’s frustrating but, in reality, is what it is.

So I go for things I know I can do. But I look for full time and benefits.

Just like with the funeral home… sometimes I go after things I really want if I see them… I am very fierce if I want something – I will go after it in unique ways. If I want it… I will stand out for it. I have no fear to stand out for something I want.

I got the funeral home because I wrote them a letter and told them why I would be an asset. I didn’t really have to try for it… I fit in with it right away – instantly!!! Smooth like butter.

So… maybe 2 weeks ago? I saw a job posting that caught my attention. But it had been there for over 30 days it said. So that told me they have not found anyone yet that they liked.

The job is REALLY GOOD money!!! I won’t be at mercy anymore… I will be out from under Satan … I will get my life back BY MYSELF!!! Me.

It is FULL time, COMPLETE FULL benefits – on everything!! Everything!!!!

Monday through Friday only… I won’t have to kill myself trying to climb up, with Satan trying to push down… he won’t be able to with this.

Anyway… the job is something I am familiar with… is outdoor recreation. Campgrounds – I would be working in an office for a magazine that gives info. on camping and Rv’ing and places etc.

I know the subject very well… and I’ve lived in so many states and traveled all over the United States all my life… As a kid our first summer vacation was a 2 week cross country driving, camping, sightseeing etc… think Chevy Chase – and I know MANY states!!

Our second vacation would be beach vacations right before school started.

I was almost conditioned for this job?

Alright well again – if I want something you will know cause you will see me try to stand out… I will only draw attention when I command it. I am comfortable with attention like that… I just don’t like attention with looks (which is shallow to me) I want attention for depth ✌️

Anyway… so I drew attention – I wanted to turn their head… they asked for a resume and a cover letter explaining why I would be good, and why I wanted … was I hungry enough?

So ya know… I wrote words – I explained about how well I knew states – and how I know the camping and RV’ing world as well as state monuments and national parks etc

I wanted because I think I would be an asset, and I work hard.

Well they set it up to weed people out… as soon as you apply they send you an aptitude test – I took that … did well … then it gave me an automated BY PHONE interview – with specific questions.

Then it said thank you for your time we will be in contact.

That is the general response… so I didn’t think much… every step is little extra experience… so I am learning even if doesn’t work – what is meant to be… will be.

I forgot about it cause I hadn’t heard from them… I check my email and nothing.

Until today 😮… I was at haunted mansion… and my cell phone rang… 😮

Usually is always solicitors … and if I don’t know a number and you are not in my phone – I do not answer …

But this time … I saw the number… it tells me where call is coming from… the job is out here by me … next town over / still country ❤️❤️❤️ no more big city!!

When I saw the location of the call- I hesitated but thought fuck it / I’ll answer … and I did

It was them… they want me to one in for an interview on Thursday – I’m pretty sure I can slam dunk it… they liked what I had to say already – she said that…

It’s a closer drive for me… less wear on my old car.

So I go in to interview on Thursday at 10am.

Shortly after that call… the woman who works at haunted mansion say… you know the funeral home in your city you live in … needs an office manager… she is my friend, do you want me to check?

Sure whatever … that would also be closer and if they are offering full time with benefits … I am open… let me see what fish I can catch? Ya know?

So she checked with her, but the funeral home in my town is waiting to see what current office manager is going to do. So we see on that one. I would be close to home and that would be so easy!!

Then I get home and because I redid my resume… hiring managers are messaging for all kinds of jobs 😮😮😮 Oh my god! Suddenly I feel in high demand, like I can have anything I want!! What just happened?

I do not have college… I was a stay at home mom… I lost my family and I battled cancer all within 3 years…

Plus Satan pulls dirty tricks to try to make sure I can’t do it…

But that doesn’t stop me… I still try. Really hard!! I aim. ✌️ and I’m fierce with that. If I aim at you – watch out!

Ok so… right now – the world is kind of my oyster? What the fuck? All this in one week!

And it will put me in a position to take best offer. I’m worth it, so how bad you want it? 😘✌️

Whoa 😮 I just got power 😮😳 well almost – but I will get it. I aim lol ✌️ and I aim fiercely.

Do not underestimate me just because I am sweet and kind… I am also driven. So I drove it here.

Now I have to figure out what I want… death seems to still want me there – I am getting what seems to be little messages about death all the time… it encompasses my world currently. Even when not working – and I have loved the job and learning and I love my people- enjoy them very much!

They need me… they currently have a hiring freeze… they can’t hire anyone else because of corona … so I will have them up against the wall. Whoa 😮

If the one closer to me is available and they offer what I want … that might be more beneficial- less gas and less mileage…

Or this new one, I didn’t really expect… if that comes through – death might be gone?? 😮 as long as I think I can handle it – right now I do. And that money – oh boy 😮 how do I say no? I don’t think I could? Cause it’s a lot… and I could do everything all by myself!! Boom went the dynamite 🧨

And then I have all these other random jobs messaging me asking what I want 😮😮😳

I am stunned a little! Cause it was all at once. what the f happened suddenly? I aim well, I just didn’t know my aim was THAT good 😮

So I have a lot to think about!!

I only work 4 hours tmrw morning … and 3 hours on Wednesday morning training at the other funeral home. I can’t do anymore hours than that or I go over… so I have to be careful they don’t want that currently

But soon – they may have to make a decision.

Thursday is my interview – so I will prepare … and aim.

Friday I have court … I am prepared as well.

Damn! This week exploded on my but in a good way… I’m about to get power 😮

Watch me work it 😮

It just kinda blows my mind after all I’ve been through – now it’s my turn

Touch me now Satan! I’ll take him down too! Looks like my aim is pretty good … he won’t know what’s coming at him.

Yeah probably not underestimate me ✌️😘

I want to survive – so odds just went in my favor BIG TIME 😮 place your bets

I do have to really think though … death has job security… but if they can’t give me what I want and what I’m worth… they gonna lose me. No matter how much I love it there

It’s business – not friendship… a corporation survives fine – but if they don’t take care of employees the. They have an issue… and with a hiring freeze in effect – I have them cornered 😮

They are going to have to compete soon – so this is gonna be crazy!!

I wanna make sure I also have job security where I go… if corona slams down again… I still need to work… I don’t want to panic

So just so many things to think of… I am about to blow it out of the water 😮😮😮

I need more solid info before I can ask opinions … but that’s on my lap right now 😮

Whoa!!! My life is exploding again but good this time!! ❤️✌️

15 thoughts on “Ya’ll ready for this? 😮

Add yours

    1. Yes very loaded. Now I get to chose my life and not be at mercy ❤️ so just have to see how well I work it 😮🙏

      Kickin butts and taking names lol… and during a virus 😮 damn!

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Hi Omatra. I’m sorry about all your troubles over the last 3 years. You’re a soldier and an inspiration in the way you’ve had to deal with it all! Regarding death I agree completely. I see death as a continuation. Death isn’t the end. The same way I don’t think birth is the beginning. We are nothing if not for every single person who came before us. Finally congratulations on your many job opportunities. Trust your intuition about which job is best for you. Sounds like you’ll be awesome whichever direction you take. All the best for a brighter future! Wishing you well 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much 🥰

      That’s ok – in life we have ups and downs – it’s how you handle… I had no choice but to be strong. It was hard though – definitely not easy… only built my character stronger though. ✌️

      Life and death – the circle of life

      Yes I agree always trust instincts – I have gotten better with that!

      I did not see this week coming at me at all!! It’s crazy!! I thought it was going to be a hard week with court coming – but this just gave me extra strength – I won’t be afraid now.

      Thank you very much for your very kind words 😊 I wish you well too!

      I can’t wait to see what happens now lol 😊✌️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We certainly do. You’re attitude is exactly the right one. You had no choice but to be strong. Such courage! Trusting your intuition is not an easy thing to do when we’re constantly listening to the rational (irrational?) mind. For me my intuition if often telling me what is right for me versus what I want. Like you I’m better at trusting it as I get older. It’s still an ongoing process of course. I look forward to hearing about how things work out for you!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you 🥰 appreciate that!!

        I look at it like this… life is going to come at me… I can either let it crush me and give up… in which case I won’t get far… or I can turn around and face it and make it work for ME! Life is gonna come at me anyway, and it has… so is like “sink or swim” I want to swim ✌️

        I’m always pretty confident in general… I do think I can do things and I do have strength… I did face cancer (that one I wobbled a little bit, that one was hard)

        I aim for things that I know will help me step up? That’s why I am able to go at it fiercely

        Although I will say… with this job – I wasn’t sure they would want me or I would turn their head? But ya know – you don’t know unless you try or ask. So I tried and it worked – so far lol

        Whew what a week! I will be preparing for this – cause I plan to interview them too.

        I can’t wait to see what happens and what I can do ❤️✌️ thank you again very much!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Good luck! Pursue them all. Remember interviews are 2-way… it’s also your opp to find out why they think you should pick them, and to figure out what suits you best!
    Ohhh… how I miss that feeling!!
    And good luck on Friday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes I am doing homework on that… I will have questions for them – I want to make sure I can confidentially do the job they are offering, I want to make sure it is something I want and feel comfortable with, etc… I will also be interviewing lol

      I MIGHT be awol for a moment while I get things together and streamlined??

      Cause I want to look top notch, do my research, have my questions all that… and then I also want to just do last minute check on everything in order and ready for court.

      I wanna smash everything out the park. Crush it.

      Whew BIG WEEK!!! And I’m working so much with the funeral home too!!

      Thank you very much 🙏❤️


    1. Thank you very much 🥰

      🙏 I will prepare so should go well

      I am starting my day now… about to get ready for work ✌️ only a few hours today.

      Hope you are having a good week! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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