Warning ⚠️ sensitive material

Just warning, cause I added a photo – it’s not bad – but I just felt a warning was in order ✌️… is not even bad … but I still feel better warning.

I actually went in the pool… twice!! 🥰 …but one of those times I had to have a top.

I like it better without. For several reasons…

The right side is a hurty side… everything hurts it… without a top in the water … there is no hurt! Is perfect ❤️

I have a top on in this photo I will share, but this is the new stuff 😳… they are just new still… I keep them covered and protected lol

In this photo… we had just gotten out of the pool, and I came home to change. You can see the scar … on camera – it looks light – it is not light… it is purple 🤨 the camera made it not so dark. It is dark and purple… it goes all the way under my underarm.

They look good, I don’t complain about that. I think is beautiful. They did a good job… They kinda look fake, but they are, so whatever ✌️

I am very lucky for that. Extremely!!

I’m just shy with the attention and that scar.

I am not shy with it when I help other women through it. In those cases, I am extremely open and share all my stories and photos… Women did that for me… women I didn’t even know… immediately and freely – told me their stories and shared their photos… you have no idea how much that helped going through that… so to do that for other women – I like that. So I do that sometimes. It makes a difference both ways

But sometimes if people ask me about it… their sadness reaction to breast cancer can make me tear up. But whatever – I am alive and doing fine. It’s just the emotions.

When my bras or tops sit on that scar – it bothers me.

The one piece made a cross line across the scar and on the other breast… it hurt to wear that

I also don’t like the seat belt… I will wear one… but I use it weird… I buckle it and then tuck the shoulder strap behind my arm… no way is that gonna sit on the scar!! It hurts every time!!

So when I can go by myself and no one is there – the water and being topless helps.

The scar side is my bad side. It’s always going to be my bad side now.

So those are the boobs I always talk about lol and that scar which looks worse in person, but is fine – just personal and emotional only to me.

I am not quite used to the attention they bring… I am thin, I have long legs and a nice form, always have.

These just went a little bigger than I realized 😮 did not think about the attention that would occur. At the time I was focused on cancer and thought “well I would never do this anyway” – so whatever…

I didn’t think beyond that. So anyway… I keep em covered usually.

I am liking the sorta disappearing tan lines. I like that a lot.

When I used to be a cart girl… we had to work outside constantly- the job is outside… I would be outside every single day…

I started to get color… but I was wearing clothes lol… so at night when I would shower… looking in the mirror it looked like I still had clothes on …because it had my shorts line and the lines of my shirt lol anything that didn’t see the sun was white white white lol … it was hilarious looking… I called it my cart girl tan lines lol

Anyway in other news… ok so I saw the people… I like them … they are nice, I think. They seem nice and the dog is a little calmer now so ok then. 👍

He really wants to jump on me though 😮

The man looks really familiar … I think he might be a golfer?? I do not want to ask… I don’t want him to know who I am if that is actually the case.

I don’t want to be recognized.

I just don’t. I do not want the attention currently. I want privacy.

I used to help my police, I got to know the community, met politicians – did all that. I even coordinated the awards for the entire county. So I know many.

Then I was a cart girl … I drew attention because of my looks. I was good to my golfers – or any customer … they still ask for or about me and it’s been 2 years since I left them.

When I would come to work… they said my name like the people on the show “Cheers” used to say “Norm” … just everyone was always excited and happy to see me… I am fun – I will make you laugh

So anyway… I am well known there too.

I don’t want that attention right now… just laying low. So I am not asking if I know him. No way. He just looks familiar… but I am not mentioning that

My mom is doing good – but no one has been allowed to see her for 4 months- they are still completely locked down.

She is doing ok. She is oblivious to anything that is happening.

Please wear your masks… 🙏 … I don’t want my mom to die from corona. So you should just do that. Please 🙏

I know she will die… but I want to be able to see her!! Kiss her – hug her… corona would take her away from me and I would never get a goodbye. I don’t want to lose her like that to this.

So mask it up ✌️

We all want our leaders to fix everything… and handle this – protect us! But how do they do that when we don’t protect ourselves?

I want to see my mom again before I lose her ☹️ … so please wear that mask 🙏

Ok so I guess that’s it. Now I will read for a little while

Tmrw is Friday!! Woo hoo!

Saturday the 4th I work for 4 hours… then I have my Sunday as usual… we are going to spend the fourth with my girlfriend and her daughters.

They live in the city – all our firework displays are cancelled… but in the city, people light off the illegals – so you always get a show. You don’t even have to go anywhere. ❤️🇺🇸❤️

My daughter will come to work with me on Saturday – she has been to my funeral home. She doesn’t say much about it lol

She doesn’t like when we walk in and there is a casket lol … that will freak her out a little … but we just walk past and then she doesn’t go in there until we have to leave .

I don’t think there will be any caskets. Should be fine. It’s the 4th ❤️🇺🇸❤️

Alright well gonna read for little while

Gnite ✌️😘