Moanday ✌️

Ok so Monday … I always hate Monday … Monday is not like Friday at all!!

Should be “Moan-day” cause you moan with disenchantment lol

Not all Monday’s suck – this one does though, cause I am handling some stuff that I don’t like and bothers me… but I have to adult and handle it, so I am moaning about Monday lol ✌️

I will blame Monday for my discomfort lol

Anyway… it should be fine. This stuff terrorizes me? So my heart beats in a panic mode? And I feel bunchy? Tense? Bleh!!

But I have to deal so is what it is. Just complaining for a minute.

This bad stuff is gonna come down on a Friday 😮😱 in 2 weeks – I am terrified! Like beyond terrified ? It’s sends my entire system into shut down…

All I can feel is sheer panic and umm? Trauma… I wish there was a way to avoid but there is not. I wanna run so bad!! I have to have it come at me head on… so ok…

It’s just that, I get emotional? I cry and then I can’t speak? I am so traumatized by the entire thing I can not handle well??

I can’t breathe or anything – it’s really hard.

But is something I have to go through … so … few more hits – I know they are coming.

This is a BIG one… we see how goes – I am preparing so this is why I am complaining – I already feel the trauma and panic today.

Then of course my mom… but I’m not thinking about losing her… I am just enjoying her while I have her – but also I know I will have to lose her soon. ☹️ I am afraid of that, I see it, I know it will come eventually, and I know I’m gonna take it hard.

So 2 more hits – and then it be silent … ok can I do 2 more hits?

I don’t know??

This one coming at me, I will deal with it… I am preparing and all I can do is hope it will be ok? I don’t have faith there because it is never ok. But I can have hope. So I hope

With my mom, I don’t have hope. Alzheimer’s is going to take her no matter what I do. So that one hurts, the other issue is panic and trauma… with my mom is just going to be the pain of losing her.

So ok … I have 2 more hits coming. I can do this. Maybe?

17 thoughts on “Moanday ✌️

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  1. tell us. Is there a way we can help you to be less dreadful of what you need to do? Are you getting a shot? JK.

    For me I hate running on moanday .. or any day But that’s probably not going to help you.

    Or you don’t have to be an adult. Go to ToysR’us where a kid can be a kid 🙂 wait, there’s no ToysR’us.

    Or if you do it, you can get to have your icecream. That helps me. Maybe a lolipop?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol… shot to through the heart 🎶 maybe? Lol

      I will speak, later though – it will really make me cry. That will take time. It’s heavy and bad to me.

      I miss Toys-R-Us lol …that was always a fun happy place.

      Yeah I’m worried I won’t be consolable for little while? Not sure? I am scared so can’t really see it to be ok?

      Thank you for your words ❤️ you made me smile ✌️ on a Moanday 😘✌️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. What did I miss? What’s in 2 weeks?

    I’m sorry for your mother’s situation and your pain and knowing the inevitable is nearing. I hope her Alzheimers at least keeps her in a happy place in her mind.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have a bad thing coming – not this week … but next week… I will explain soon. Just overwhelms next and makes me cry.

      Yeah losing my mother is going to be really hard… I’m trying to prepare – that will be my largest and most devastating loss I have ever known… so not too sure how I’m gonna handle that. I do know is coming. I will be happy she be with my dad where she wants to be, I will just miss her dearly. But they will be together again so that’s kinda solace? I just have to let go on that. I should be ok? Maybe? Just so much stuff

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      1. Can’t really predict the response to death of someone you love. Could be grief, relief, delayed reaction, all or none. I wish you peace when it happens.

        And I’m sending good juju on the other matter.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sending good juju to you too for Adam ❤️

        Thank you ❤️

        I just panic to lose her but ya know I have to accept it. I’m sure you understand with Adam. You love them, it’s gonna hurt. But nothing you can do, so you have to let go… just going to be a little hard. Life happens you have to adjust. Just sucks.

        Thank you for being empathetic and kind ❤️

        Like

      3. I lost all my closest friends, and Significant Other, to AIDS when I was in my mid 20s. I had to come to terms with death or lose my mind.

        Please don’t feel quilty or afraid to talk about it if you feel relief along with your grief. It’s a normal response but most people don’t talk about it.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Awww ☹️ I am very sorry for your losses 💔

        Oh I will sob all over WP… lol… I might be quiet at first to absorb it? But I will reach out with that – I will have to. ✌️❤️

        Thank you ❤️

        Like

      5. Thanks.
        I will have a similar reaction when AdamCat, or any other, dies. I sortof processed human death to the point of complete acceptance, which can look like indifference to others.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. At my funeral home I can remove my emotions to empathize and help the family … but with myself I still have a hard time with the initial blow. 😳

        Everyone handles things differently – however you get through it – if is how you process. No one is the same – I am different than my brother – he is a rock… I am emotional lol …so is sister… she’s way off the charts above me though with the emotions lol … my lucky brother is sandwiched in the middle lol 😄✌️ he has fun lol

        You also reach out should you need support through that… our fur babies are family too! It doesn’t hurt any less!

        Like

    1. I keep trying to go over that in my head. I have been through a lot so – I am strong and I’ll survive no matter what. I am just traumatized so I um? Panic with it?

      Thank you – I will keep remembering that!! 🙏 I can do this ❤️😘

      Liked by 1 person

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